With poet written fingers

Impressions

2011-12-26T23:33:00.000+08:00

"Is it because they're weird as hell?" -No, they're actually really nice.

So Merry Christmas to all of you :)

As I write this on Boxing Day, I'm kind of a bit more than content with the change. By change I mean from my monotonous lifestyle. I felt that I've been waking up at the same time for too long, been stuck in the same predictable jam for too long, sat in lecture halls for too long and above all been with the same people for TOO long.

As a result, surprisingly I enjoyed being with my family this year. Yes, it was pretty rocky in the beginning but eventually it got better after getting out of a house full of crowded personalities.

I feel like promises were broken, I'm not sure for the better or not, I'm leaving it to the hands of time to deal with that... But friendships grew distant in some directions and others got stronger. Again, I'm not sure of this but I'm just rolling with Life. The best update this week was re-connecting with one of my Greatest Best Friend ever, and He deserves a shout out. It was he who outbeat my Longtime Best Friend, Sita longest phone call for 7 hours and holding the position still at 8 hours something * details were forgotten. He, who put up with all my roller coaster emotions and ridiculous banter, as well as laugh at my not so funny jokes and entertaining gossip. Lastly, He is the best person to bitch to ;) I'm glad to be in the loop with him again.

Moving on, I've got still pending Christmas presents and I feel that the longer I put it on hold, the better presents people are getting me so the less cooler I am.

ALSO! Not forgetting getting a nice message from another best friend to hang out for new years is always good, I think I'm into low key hang outs instead of the one where the world gets to log online and see what pattern knickers I wore the previous night, or if I had any at all.

2011 has brought a lot of raging emotions. I don't think I've ever felt so extreme before. What I mean to say, when I'm happy, I'm really damn Happy. When I'm sad, I feel like the demon living with me is smothering me at every waking moment. When I'm bored, I feel like I'm walking one straight line in the middle of a desert. So, you.get.the.picture.

To whatever it is out there for me, I will try to have more excitement in my life, I feel like 2011 was dull for me. Very fast, with preparing for Mocks in January and sitting for them to... Preparing for IGCSEs in May and June to... Graduating in June... To entering College in July to ~~~~ what the fuck happened in college?
LOL OKAY THE END.

I may have gotten another shot at love

2011-12-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

Like my title states, this is the situation I've gotten myself into. Am I complaining? People go without love - alone and unwanted. Here I am, indifferent. Maybe I do belong alone.

I've shut myself out for so long, I don't know how to feel the way I should or even appreciate it. I'm drowning and there's so many great people trying to help me. I'm slowly emerging to the surface but I'm still fucking traumatised.

Oh my god, I think I need therapy.
x

Reverse

2011-12-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

Hi, it's been a while since my last blog and considering I'm quite free today.

So let me give you an over view of what's been happening!
I finished our Media Appreciation pilot episode and I've been struggling with the size to post it up on youtube! :( Eventually I'll be in the mood to do so :)
I think it's pretty well done except for majority of the shit acting haha. What else? I've had exams already but the really important ones are only from
19th-21st of December, then I'm freeee!

Too bad though, my friends have decided to take a trip down to Singapore without me on the 15th :(
Thing is, my Singapore family is coming over on the 17th, so with them and exams... This is going to be difficult!

Oh yes, I got my driving license!
I was sooo nervous about it on the day I was actually comforting myself for failing even before I could have done the test...
It was pretty kick ass, my tester was a strict malay woman with a tudong and all. As I recall Sita saying to me, not to get ladies... They're hard asses. So I basically kissed ass :)
I was totally in control of the break when this random ass dude decides to stand in the middle of the road and she was quicker than me to slam the breaks and reached out to honk the horn...
She was bad ass :)
But either way I got my license!

So yesterday, a bunch of us went to see Breaking Dawn... and my gawd, there was nothing we could make fun of!
I swear Malaysia needs to cool off butchering these movies, as it is, Breaking Dawn isn't as fantastic as Harry Potter, so dude. Why punish them even more?

Aites, I've got to ciao! I wish I could see a bunch of people I miss like right now...
There's so much drama in my course I feel like I'm in high school. Although I'm pretty entertained with all of it, so long I'm not in it.
I'm thankful for the group of people I'm with right now. Also my friends who I haven't seen in a loooong time.

They know who they are
x

I haven't stepped out of the box in a while

2011-10-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been really self conscious about myself. I notice everything. My hair needs a revamp, my face is bloated and oily and nasty. My chest has always needed a filling up. My belly is getting bigger and bigger than ever. It's been worrying me. I feel like I'm being swallowed into misery. I can actually feel it slowly engulfing me. I'm drowning and I don't know what to do.

Just a little while ago, I recalled what a friend said to me when I was sick.

"Fuck it! Do what you want! You're sick, eat something spicy! Drink cold water! Have a smoke! Why live by these rules ?"

I feel like I've applied it to my whole life recently. I never do anything outside the box. I've been so innocent. I feel like I'm not really living life. Experiencing what life has to offer. I'm tip toe-ing around it. Playing safe. Cautious.

Who is this?! I was never like this a year back. Who changed me? Why did whoever do it, make me so miserable?

But the more important question is, how do I undo this lifestyle?
xxxx

A Hermit Crab

2011-10-23T19:53:00.000+08:00

For those who know me long enough, know that I am such a chameleon. I have to change something, change is part of my ritual. I literally don't have a daily regime. Everyday's different. You know how poeple wake up and then they know what they have to do next without even thinking? I'm not like that. I have to think of what to do before I do it.

So recently I was inspired to change the look of my room. Yes! Again. Old friends would always come over and be like, wasn't that thing over there before? And this is true. I love moving around my furnitures for a change and my parents get so angry because I drag it all around my room before finally deciding to stick with a set location.

I've included some ideas I want my room to shape up like!


Something like that but on a very small scale wall. Just a little nostalgia of my teenage years.

Definitely want inspirational writing, loads of artwork, lights, and an energy table. Oh make a wish list for tarot cards too!

I don't know what colour scheme I'd like my room to be but definitely a white and black combo with a bright striking colour to match. That also means I need to throw my wood-esqued furniture out!

Just daydreaming!
xxxx

Questions! Part II

2011-10-19T23:25:00.001+08:00

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
Vera Wang's Princess

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
I've been so some pretty bad public toilets....

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
America I assume, I prefer East Coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Oh god... Too many

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
Let me get back to that...

36) Define: Art.
Life.

37) Do you believe in luck?
Yes.

38) What’s the weather like right now?
Alright, fucking humid though.

39) What time is it?
8.29pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
Yes I drive, but I'm learning to get my licence and I HOPE NOT.

41) What was the last book you read?
Read and finished? I don't remember. Last read; my Introduction to Mass Communication textbook

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Depends on my mood.

43) Do you have any nicknames?
Lulu, Lux, Luuuuucccsxcscscsmeee

44) What was the last movie you saw?
Miss Potter (again)

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Breaking my right arm at 3 or 4 yrs old.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
I think so?

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
Ummm colours!

48) What’s your ?
my?

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Haha had my fair share.

50) Do you believe in magic?
I DO.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Undoubtedly.

52) What is your astrological sign?
CAPRICORN BITCHESSSS

53) Do you save money or spend it?
Okay, I save money so I can spend it. Later...

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?
A hot roll for breakfast

55) Love or lust?
I've had lust, it didn't really work out.

56) In a relationship?
Nope

57) Are you a virgin?
Are you looking for a Mary?

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope

59) Where were you yesterday?
Campus, redbox, pyramid, home

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
MANY PINK THINGS: earphones, phone case, pens,pencils, files, markers, rulers, paper, books, scissors, bags... okay a lot.

Dreaming

2011-10-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

Right now my head feels like the Gif above. No words to describe it. It was such a long day today although I didn't do much it took a lot of energy from me. Really, when you're driven by negativity it takes a toll on you. On the other hand it was an eventful Moral class today. Yes, I said it. Moral Education. Well, good thing we have such a cool teacher and restless friends.

So I went to pyramid today to pick up something but unfortunately there wasn't any left. Oh and I saw this sheer top in Romp and I'm dying to have it!

Moving on, I have just downloaded the movie I'm supposed to do a review on. I have 2. One is in French it's called; Delicateseen and the other is Miss Potter.

Ironically, the movie I downloaded, Miss Potter which is in English turns out to be dubbed over with French dialouge. Today is not my day.

In other aspects, I have just compiled my list with Shathes the : Things to do before turning 75.
So far we've gotten 22! Nearly half way to for if we were to aim for 50 things! :)

Also, Reuben wants to come over campus for our Halloween Fright Night this Friday! We have no idea whether we'd be going but they have fortune telling available and well, I'm a sucker for getting my fortune told! Oh the gypsy in me.

Till then,

xxxx

QUESTIONS!

2011-10-14T20:06:00.003+08:00

I found a questionaire on tumblr and thought to share it with ****. A little something about me. This comes in installments! Keep in mind they were filled up in one day!

Drawing this soon.

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

x She Had The World - Panic! At The Disco
x Kiss My Sass - Cobra Starship

x FML - Deadmau5
x Silver Lining - Hurts
x Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles
x Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
It would be Audrey Kitching. She's inspirational.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
" ...brimmed hat, a veil masking his face, holding a device with..."

4) What do you think about most?
What am I supposed to do in this life?

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
" Haha ok ok."
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Depends on the night.

7) What’s your strangest talent?
Completing people's sentences or saying the same thing at the same time with someone else.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)
x Girls make a big deal about issues just so they can imagine as if they're part of drama series.
x Boys are useful when you need to be cheered up

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Oh, I think so.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
At Starbucks today to demonstrate to someone with hearing disabilities what I plan to do later.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?"
Heat, hot things. Cabs, as in a Taxi.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Yes.

13) What’s your religion?
I have 2. People don't normally have two but my dad's Hindu and my Mum's a Roman Catholic. Growing up, I never found it strange until people started looking at me weirdly. I don't think the different kind of religion matters, I'm open to any religion. I've gotten blessed at a Buddhist temple in Thailand, gone to a Church in Singapore, visited many temples of different religions in my life time. So deal with it.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Walking around campus, looking for a place to eat.

15) Do you perfer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Both. I'm a selective perfectionist. When I want something to be done, I have to do it myself. Even if that means filming, directing, acting and editing.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
The Pretty Reckless. Well, at the moment.

17) What was the last lie you told?
"No... I don't remember what happened!"

18) Do you believe in karma?
Sometimes.
19) What does your screen name mean?
My name?
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I have the same weakness and strength, ultimately. It would be to be Alone.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?
Let's not go there...

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Probably...

23) How do you vent your anger?
Swear and curse and vent to Sita or Shathes.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?
YES I DO. I have a collection of teeth that I have extracted from my mouth. It includes a few when I was young till when I had to get my molars extracted for braces.

25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Depends, the phone is a quick and easy way, but it's costly. Whereas, video calls can go on for hours, you can see their faces and it's nearly free.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
Not really.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
Hate: My neighbour's dogs' bark Love: Music

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?
I hadn't started earlier and taken this course.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I try not to get too involved with Supernatural stuff but I don't know... When it happens, it happens. But aliens are a bit far fetched to me. Ghosts are more believable.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right : A ring.        Left: Earphones. 

There's so many things happening that I'm not interested about

2011-09-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! So I'm down with something at the moment so everything's a little bombarding to me right now. Anyways. So here's what I have to be busy with:

Mid-Term Exams
Storyboard/ Script for the English Video Presentation
A short film for Media Appreciation ( so excited )
Driving
More projects and other assignments

So I'm pretty much beat. MTs are next week I have zero days to work on the script and zero man power as well. Trust to be in a group of *.
A toast to end well!
xxxx

Killing Time

2011-09-18T15:50:00.000+08:00

Nostalgic. There's so many memories in my laptop. The most memories I had was deleted just like that and basically I balled and cried over that for weeks. So now, I just have to move on quietly. Here's somethings of my past.

22 April 2009

2 July 2011

13 November 2008

17 July 2009

27 August 2011

8 February 2009

6 July 2011

New Stuff!

2011-09-17T13:37:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I've written in my blog. Not like anyone reads it :) But I shall share with you what has happened so far with me.

July saw the start of college and making friends was pretty tough I have to say with loads of people in my course being chicks... I personally don't have a problem with anyone but I just find it harder for me to make friends with chicks. It's just a thing I found out.

Then August rolled around and I saw my best friend forever, Christina Ong leave malaysia. It was the most heartbreaking thing. I can tell you now, that it's still is hard to function. She would always be there for me if I want to talk about my day and stuff and I will be for her as well. So I'm still getting used to the fact that she wont be around as often as I'd like and I can't exactly understand the changes that's happening to her.
Also in August..... Well you know I don't exactly remember what happened. It's mid September now and August was a while ago :P
So school school school and Sita started college so really happy about that :)
Oh and we celebrated our friends' birthday! Suk han and Kannan. We went out and had a pretty good time. Thank you Aaron for making it truly kick ass. Although I meant him on the day itself haha it was cool :) Met a lot of pretty cool people as well.
Then... September?
Work work work. Uhmmm not much has happened so far except for our first college party with the gang :) It was pretty rad. We got a hotel room and the guys pretty trashed the place up. But overall it was pretty good bonding with the kids.

Now I'm just trying to avoid work and past the time so that I can have lunch! I'm hungry!
Enjoy the pictures :) xxxx
Thememories.

In the life of...

2011-08-19T11:46:00.000+08:00

So for my new course at Taylors. Oh my god. I didn't mention that I've already started! Was it as i imagined? No. I mean somewhat. I thought I'd love college life on the first day. But hhaah such high hopes. Nah I was kidding myself. But as I got used to college ( This is the last day of my 3rd wk here) I'm slowly getting in the jig of it. Yeah some people do piss me off. But that comes with everywhere I go apparently.

So I'm pretty much in Taylor's long enough to have Sita come to college already! yes. how fantastic! :) Haha we're going to be idiots well hopefully if we can spend enough time with each other... She's got so many things moving so fast in her life it's hard for her to keep up with me!

As do I have many things... well not as many as Sita haha. I've just got certain things..
Oh my god I wish I could just vomit it all out here.
Weird how I'm blogging on campus...I normally blog at home and it's like you know sanctuary.. But here it's like me stripping in front a bunch of strangers. Well that feels like it.
Blogging in public hhaha. To me at least.

So here just wasting my time talking to myself, like I do best.
Meh. I've got like an hour to kill and I have no clue what to do. There's no one for me to talk to... well that I want to talk to. LOL bad ass bitch.

xxxx the bad ass bitch

Adrenal Gland

2011-07-09T14:34:00.000+08:00

From what I know, the adrenal gland secrets the hormone adrenaline. Also known as the fight or flight hormone.
Fight or Flight.
I will always choose to fight. It's kind of hard for me to type at the moment because my adrenaline is still high. When anyone provokes me, I tend to do the unthinkable. That on it's own states how reckless I am. I don't really think about the consequences, I just do. I don't care. I really don't care. Until the end, that is.

Well in this scenario, that recently just happened, I choose to share it on this public blog. Why public? So that it's out in the open. It doesn't really concern me much honestly because frankly, I don't give 2 shits about my sister.

Why so dramatic? Either than the fact I wish she died in that case I would have had my own brother. I wish my brother was around. He turns 21 on October 24th this year. Such a big accomplishment for anyone, yet he is not around. I wish he was. So recently I've been missing him so much. Guess that's because I haven't really had a concrete relationship with a sibling before and I assume that with him around, it would have been so much more different.

I would have had an elder brother to look up to. He'd be playing sports and I'd actually go out and play with him (given my bitchy moods as well) hopefully, he would have taken an interest in music and together we'd have a band. Him, me and my dad. I would be so much closer with my dad. And stayed that way. I was close to my dad once but when I turned a double digit, that all went away. I wish it didn't. I remember when I used to brag to my mum about how " daddy likes me better than you" and she'd laugh and I remember being so confident in that fact because I looked forward every night for my dad to get back from work and basically I wouldn't have left his side.
You see, things would have been so different with my brother around instead. From what I'm day-dreaming of at least.

But no, what do I have?
There's a saying that's all too familiar with me " appreciate what you have before it's gone" who the hell said that? I'd like to have a conversation with this person and hopefully he'd think twice about what he/she said.

Growing up, I don't really remember being close to my sister. We were POLAR opposite individuals. She was skinny, I was fat ( this still applies) she had glasses and I didn't. She didn't like music, I love music. She's brainy in science, I honestly don't really care much about it to try. She's a temper-mental mess, well so am I but I'm not angry at the world all the time. She's hates veggies, I love veggies. I love being outside and together with friends, she loves staying in her room and watching movies.

We are so very different individuals. So different.
Most of my childhood was me being angry at her. That's all I could really remember, besides the playing with dolls and eating sand(that was me) days. The rest I remember fighting, kicking, punching, scratching her. I didn't like her. There were days where my mum would ask why is it that she sees many children getting along with their many siblings and me and my sister couldn't just be in a room together without wanting to rip each other's head off.

I remember being bullied all the time. Typical when you're the youngest yes. That was okay, because I remember her friends coming over before and they used to have a better time with me than her which was when she banned me from talking to her friends and vice versa. I didn't understand why she did that. So i asked my mum what did I do wrong? She told me that. I felt bad... but as I grew up I have that sort of thing to remind me well... how much of a better friend compared to her.

She made me her servant. She was suffering from eczema behind her knees up to a point where it was painful for her to walk, stand. all that. So I had to fetch everything for her. Sure, I understood she was "ill" but all I remember was her slapping me about, pushing me around, taking me for granted. Nothing to appreciate. My parents didn't see this. It was those days where my anger for her grew and grew. I became angry with everything else relating to her. I didn't want to be associated to her. I got angry that my parents sided with the weak child and not the one who was abused in the first place.

Only a few months ago I realised how cunning she is. I was at a peak of my life itself. I was happy, confident and down right unstoppable. I was in love with life. She comes and lectures me. At first I was just yeah yeah, you know, typical thing she would say. Then she just shot shot shot shot shot. I broke down. What was that? I wasn't sad. I didn't feel any negativity in my life at all. Then she comes in and tears it all down for me. I was shocked. So that is her ability : mind fucking people.

She talks until she can, destroying whatever strength you have in yourself. She'll wear you out until you're just like.... why are you talking about that when it's got nothing to do with anything you were upset about in the first place? It's so irrelevant that she manages to twist and intertwine things into proving that you are crazy. Maybe I am. Honestly, I'm thinking about it now and God, maybe I am turning into a lunatic. Who else would do something like this?

I don't know what to say anymore. I've got so much spite in me it's overwhelming for one person.
I only ever felt this way for one person and it was always her.
It was hard trying to search and build a broken relationship. It was kinda strange because frankly, I thought I was doing all the work. Being honest, compromising, understanding, adjusting, listening. If she didn't like something that I did, she would have just bitched and moaned about it. I told her, talk to me about it. And then she brings up this whole wild ass theory and I'm like omg, I think I am crazy.
And she can't fucking understand that EVERYONE IS FUCKING DIFFERENT. Just because we have different personalities, ideas of life, interests... doesn't mean you get to fucking decide to be the moral compass of the damn family unit. She REALLY doesn't understand or really comprehend the word 'COMPROMISE' or 'UNDERSTAND'.

No, basically, what my parents say is law.
She lives by the book I don't know how she can really live life to the fullest, I don't think she is living at all. She's just... Living, eating, breathing, studying, watching movies, sleeping. She's not out for seeing the world from different places and looking from other's perspective. No. I don't think she knows what that is. It's all about her. I want my shoes from Charles and Keith, I want my bag from who the fuck knows. She's all about money and easy living. Where's the hardship in life that really makes you a person? I know I'm living a simple life, but I'm willing to take a chance and step outside the box anytime.

I just can't be abused because I do so.

It's over

2011-06-12T10:52:00.000+08:00

I can't believe my last post was of me rambling about the exams. Now it all seems so far away. Well... not quite but somewhat. It's strange adjusting to nothing-ness. I wake up thinking I have and agenda and I don't. So things like that, on top of not being able to drive YET. So that's an inconvenience.

I'm not sure if I like the feeling or not. I'll decide later.
I feel that's all I'm ever doing. Leaving this too deep for me to figure out, for later. Everything's later.
But what am I doing now? I'm not sure. All I know is that I find myself spacing out in the middle of something I would rather enjoy a while ago. Or detesting company. Yeah. Not myself these days and the thing is I don't know how to be myself anymore. It's like I've been purposely chained to nothing and now I have no clue how to get out.

So what plans to I have? I'm leaving it all up in the air. I can't decide.
It's so stupid to a point where no plans can go for me because I'm so fickle minded and callous I'm timid to deep my toes in the ocean. Is it fucking freezing?

At the moment, I don't feel like being with a certain person. I feel like every time I am around * I just want to slap *. It's not a pleasant feeling. I mean, duh. But I mean to say that, it's not like me to feel that way for * or rather anyone for that matter who probably didn't do anything to me. Yeah maybe * did so something, it's kind of hard to keep track of it all. But * definitely has an agenda. That's the annoying bit. Nothing * does is purely out of... willingness. No it's because there is a personal gain for * to whatever * finds needs to be done. * doesn't want to spend time with me, or cares about my issues, or cares about what's sensitive to me. Yes, it sounds like all about me. Thing is, this is just how I am towards *. That's what I'm like, I only consider *'s feelings and wants and it's not that I put * on a pedestal. Hell no, * is not exactly the best person to put on a pedestal. I'm humoured from it.

I miss my girlfriends. How strange seeing that they're about the only people that I do talk to on a regular basis? It's not that, they are the only ones. No, I enjoy they're company.

My family has invaded my house and what do you know, I'm still alone! For sure, Death Cab has been on loop, shuffle, everything.
I've got lunch at my uncle's house and I swear to whoever who wants to know, I have packed on weight. I don't like it. I have done no activities or anything that can somehow help to keep me active or even burn something. Other part about studying for exams on a how many months basis. Yeap. It's over so fuck that, I am going to not stay at home at all. Fingers crossed I do get to if not for driving.

That's all.
x

Plan for the summer :)

2011-05-27T00:14:00.001+08:00

That’s all I got.

Then it hit me.

2011-05-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Nobody does anything for me without receiving something in return. I just took a step back today, when i felt like bullied. I feel like this all the time. Whenever someone wants me to do something for them... I don't want to do. Pretty stupid for me to get worked up about something stupid like accepting a public invite. But it's not just that, recently, I haven't gotten as many friends as I did before. I've gotten over that it's just a learning curve. But for those friends left, I would go till the end of the world fighting for them if they need me. They're the real thing. But petty things yeah that reflect dependency it's fine. They want me to be there with them. I will try my best all the time. But WHEN when have I asked for help. Never and I just can't and don't want to. Because i want to grow and be independent. So is it my fault that I never ask for help? Because i don't want to trouble people? But ....

I can't finish this.
x

Striken.

2011-05-02T18:15:00.000+08:00

Burden collapsed on me. Not yours, mine. For a while now, I've been taking my time and frankly, it hasn't hit me so bad yet.

-L

Oh dear

2011-04-15T13:47:00.000+08:00

So obviously, it's been too long since I last posted something. The only reason why I am now is that I'm utterly bored. So bored. I'm currently downstairs in my dining room, all alone in my huge empty house. Well it's not huge for a family, but it's huge for a lonely, 17 year old girl only supposed to be imprisoned to study for the upcoming exams. Story of my life and I have nothing to do now but talk to myself, which i figured... Why not talk to myself on my blog.

No, being home alone is not super cool especially when you've got a sister who watches you like a hawk. It's insane, she's probably worse than my mother and plus, i can't imagine the cleaning up I would have to do if I were to throw a party. And I'd be entirely guilty, not for my parents alone but for the lost time for studying. Not like I get much done even without the party though.

It's getting insane! I have no motivation to study. I literally don't care for the exams, IDK. I just want them done so I can move on from my life in elc a whole ... 7 years so far. That's like nearly half my life in elc and god, I need change. This final year of elc has been fucking terrible. Honest to god. I mean I'm proud of my house and my people but i think we could have done better in the start but if it weren't for the lack of spirit to do anything yeah... we didn't. But we did well and i wouldn't ask for anymore. Who could have more?

Am i scared to start a new life? New college, friends, teachers, environment? YES. I am at this point desperate on my knees begging and crawling my way out of this life. I am completely unsatisfied and bored. You don't know how boredom can really put you down. I'm tired of my people, i want new friends. I'm tired of the teachers, although there are a couple who i would miss for sure. 3 guesses who i wont miss. I'm sick of the grey and white buildings i allow myself to be chained to for the past 7 years of my life. No colour. How depressing.

I'm ready as i'll ever be to walk through new halls, new places with new faces and friends and the most important thing : Starting Fresh.
Where nobody would know who I am or judge me because they know what type of person I am. I get to decide what people think of me. No more of what 7 years of doing in the same school to define me and put me in my place. I'm not a nobody in elc, i've definitely cemented my name in elc, through various achievements and... well... social achievements. But doesn't mean I was happy to have been where i'm at. I'm tired of being responsible for something.

So in college, I'm just going to do what I want to fucking do without others telling me, omg you should totally do it, you've got like so much capabilities. Yeah well I probably do and you may think, why not? Challenge yourself and shit like that. But... Okay, maybe elc has just been... not the right place to showcase my abilities, so probably I'll see what happens in college. I mean bottom line is that I don't want and wont have anybody in my ear telling me to do something I don't want to and what not. I mean all the more it would be fun to do something because people have no clue what i am capable of so obviously now would be a good time to impress. or rather then.

I don't know, at the moment I feel like I've lost purpose in life. I don't know what I'm living for. I have a good life, a great family, great friends - mind you... it's a little circle of people i trust., anything i want... I can get.. Basically i live a privileged life and yeah. I'm very grateful for it. I thank my parents for everything. But what about me? What am i supposed to do? What am i supposed to do in this world? What difference was I meant to accomplish when i was first placed in this world? What AM i living for?

I'm not suicidal or anything. I just feel, i'm not important, like i'm just brought into this life to ...live. and that's it.

Okay i have to get back to my add math now. Funny, how reflective I can be in a short time and literally have pages to write but I wont sit down and read about the human liver for only 5 minutes.

xxxx
till poetic rhymes end.

Uhhuh.

2010-08-19T16:38:00.000+08:00

Favourite of All Time (:

2010-07-31T18:52:00.000+08:00

After watching Titanic, it changed my life. Yes, I have watched Titanic before when I was younger but then again, I was like 3 or 4 years old, I didn't know what was going on, and it was too long it bored me to sleep. :) So now I'm older, smarter, able to analyse things better, I'm in love with it. I have to say, it's the greatest love story ever told and for a long time, the Titanic held the number one spot of blockbuster movies until that animated thing came out of Blue People - Avatar. I mean sure it was good, like the effects and all but man. The story was... okay. Just okay. There was no gripping or profound moment of the whole movie like Titanic did. And of course, I walked away loving the couples, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. More of Leo's role, Jack Dawson. And Rose, she's amazing (:

They are like my favourite on-screen couple! Leo's pretty hot too... haha, he's like literally 20 years older than me (: WHO CARES, :D

xxxx
Luxxx - All i want is something to believe in, even if it's just to hear your name.

Becca's Birthday (;

2010-07-19T22:39:00.001+08:00

It was sinfully delicious. I'm lazy. Probably give a full analysis on that...On Wednesday along with details of Chris's party.

So tomorrow, I've got a literature screening at school of the Docu-drama of King Richard III so that's going to be brilliant. Then we've got a lot of dancing to do. After that we're off to Becca's house for somemore girls time and then finally off to Chris's till 9 perhapse? Then home!
:)
exciting? Perhapse.
Christina's going to have a lovely time for sure (;

xxxx
;loves- miss nothing.

It's over.

2010-07-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

Sup guys? So uhh, today was shit.
LOL, JK. It was...okay pretty excellent and shit at the same time. So I've officially FINISHED my exams and well, thank you Malay was the last paper, cause it cheered me up a slight bit. Add math was killer this morning, and well Becca and I were close to suicide.

Whatever, we did OUR best (: We studied and we gave two sheets. Two. We'll make up for our mistakes. So, I have a feeling I'll be getting grounded due to my results... And I've already planned my uhh, day for my lockdown. I'll share it when I am really on lockdown and if I really do follow it :P HAHA. Diary of a Procrastinator. Ironic. LOL.

So tomorrow, while you nerds have school, Sita and I are shopping in One Utama for Beccas present (: Mhhm, heaven here we come! It's like tradition me and Sita's. We've always gone to One Utama every thursdays we're off for exams (: x hehe. So it's something I'm like dying to have and then Becca's shexy shleepover. Hmm.

That's about it (: If it interest anyone, whoever plans on ditching tomorrow, come chill with us (:
haha doubt so, lovelies.
xxxx

FORONENIGHTONLY.

Than to have never lain beside it all

2010-07-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

I am stuck in a time warp. STUCK. Plus, i just went on a mental spree and fumigated my whole room so i'm lying in my bed getting suffocated by poison. Fumigating for what? Pest. Nasty little buggers that suck the life out of me, metaphorically and literally.

Its nearly the end of the final exams, and I have never longed for sleep more than i am right now. Just hibernation. Mhhm, tempting.

So today was literature and math. Fell sick again during the math paper and I nearly whacked my head off.

Really, what I am anticipating right now is Becca's Sweet Sixteen!
[I'll repost a sexier picture, they're in my phone and lost my cable!]
So her birthday's on this friday and the girls and I can't wait!Our much awaited bitch fest has been long prolonged. Mhhm, loads of omg-ing. Chocolate, OMG-food, and freaking ridiculous sappy love story movies and tons and tons of chocolate, ahhh. This is what why we are girls. Don't you agree?

So before Friday, i still have tuesday to conquer Add math and then wednesday sit for that paper and useless malay. I wish i picked music instead. Mhhm. Damn.

So after Becca's the weekend should be fun, especially Sunday? No promises, I just want a sort of coffee break. B-t-dubs, I hate coffee. So yeah... Then 20th's the movie screening for lit kids at school, then chris's thing (: fun shiteeee (: Can't wait for that.
Christina is going to be one happy bitch (; I love her, better than he does (; ahaha.

SO THEN THE 22!nd YEAH YEAH BATTLE OF THE BANDS. It's going to be rock and roll and tons of FUUU**********NNNNN.

So for now, people, let's drift into a dreamless sleep?

xxxx.
If the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too.

Chloe

2010-07-07T21:29:00.000+08:00

This is probably the best movie ever. But- But- It is pretty graphical so no babies watching this please. And the soundtrack. My god. It's amazing (: MAX THERIOT wooohooo!

I am obsessed with the soundtrack at the moment. Obsessed.

2010-05-11T00:37:00.001+08:00

I'm dreaming of shoes in the morning. While my best friend is sorting out issues with a troubled friend for me. Friend. Or not. Soon to be not, tried to be not, failed to be not.

Tuesday... There's a bunch of people I don't want to see tomorrow. Then again, there's a few to smother in an air tight hug. Very few.

Good Night or Morning.

Neutralised Day

2010-05-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

Not exactly, there was drama as usual. What's elc without drama. But it's not nice to address it here.
ANYWAYS.
So Becca got msn (; yes, she's 16 well turning sixteen soon (we're waiting for our invites, or we may just surprise her) and she finally got msn.

She's red house captain and she's stepping it up a knotch.
But green house is coming together too (: I love our family!
It's great, we have a great yr 10 team and a good yr 9 team too. Minus kaiwen, i want to kick his non... (:

Shyeah anywayss... that's all I just wanted to get a blog up, while waiting for my printer to print.
waiting... waiting...

AUDREY kitching came out with her own fashion line today!
Win, I've been following her for about 4 years now (: she's a great inspiration.
Goodbye butterflies.
xxxx

Getting a bit impulsive

2010-05-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

That current is the apple of my eyes. Yes Yes Yes I want it so bad, then again I already have a qwerty phone so call me... Impulsive cause that is exactly what I am. I current have... that

Ew. Ew. Ew. Whoever who thinks this phone is god. It's not it's the crappiest phone ever (:
1) It's so sloooooow
2) You can only store up 500 messages. MAX.
That's like sin.
3) The camera is 2.0 mp, but it sucks. It seriously does.
4) the video lags. That means the voice comes first and then the action takes place.
5) The loudspeaker sucks, normall I would put my phone on loudspeaker while on the phone with someone
but with this mother fucker, I have to use the hands free and god damn it's annoying.

Those are my top 5, ONLY. TOP 5. of what i hate about the LG ks 360. At the time, no other qwerty phones were available on market and now... It's sheer brilliance. Me being impatient settled with crap. Wait, my love ones.

And while I went out with Sadleder and Sita a week ago, I have a feeling me and Sadleder was the N900. It was really... AFFORDABLE. Let's say the price was AFFORDABLE. Hope it doesn't shoot up.
I have made a revelations with all the phones I had in the past.
1) Never get flip phones, the top with flip off within a few years.
2) Never get Motorola phones, the razr sucks and it's so slow, same with LG phones.
3) Never get push ups, one day i pushed it up and everything switched off and goes blank after a few years
4) Settle with Sony Ericsson, Samsungs or Nokia...
Samsungs, last a LONG LONG TIME, I would know, Sita's phone has survived it being in her pocket when she jumped in a pool, thrown across a pyramid of canned food, bitten by her dogs and the list could go on...
Sony Ericssons are fast, and they store a good amount.
Nokia's are fast and they store a lot too, PLUS, it's user friendly...

I want your thoughts! Debates! Anything!
xxxx
Luxmee.

What's this?

2010-05-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

I promised myself not to get too attached. It was an emotional night, the minute it struck midnight on the 6th of may, it was surreal. I never imagined a surprising chain of events, I can say it's something that's been on my list to go before I die. So, anyways, today was uneventful... Aside from getting piled with workload by teachers and then scolded, ( insert laugh here) by ***. I'm doing good (: I can't believe within two weeks or less or more I feel and know that I am a completely different person. I like this 'new' person. I do my work on time, I read. A lot. I listen to my parents (: I'm doing really good, I have great friends. But with this gain, comes great loss and I really didn't expect my loss to hurt like mad, but then again, it's right for me. This loss is not entirely a loss. It's a gain in my gamble in life. Due to this loss, I am able to be who I am now (: So in other words, what I'm trying to say that whatever you think you have lost in life is not necesarrily a loss because it's a blessing in disguise from you're sacrifice of letting go.

Okay enuogh rambling (:
T.G.I.F (: can't wait for the weekend!
It's not going to be fun, I have loads of work to get to!

xxxxx

GREEN HOUSE CAPTAIN

2010-05-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to:

Red House: Rebecca Tan ( my wife ), Sameer Doshi
Blue House: Reuben Lim, ....
Yellow House: Shathes, Amir
Green: Andy! (:

these are the mother f*ckers that would be busting all yo asses ;)
Thank you andy, i'm sure we'll make a sexy team! :)
I'm proud to be your partner in crime!

For the mother fuckers who escaped from hell and joined us here.

2010-05-01T21:58:00.000+08:00

Lingerie

2010-04-30T15:55:00.001+08:00

Everyone SHOULD be walking around in these all day long.

Long live fish nets and garter belts, (: xxxx

Superhero

2010-04-30T15:45:00.000+08:00

All alone again searchin for somethin'
There's no one left to save me now
I won't be afraid I just thought you'd catch me
But you're not here to save me now

I've had my share of criminals
And you're no different from them all

I need a superhero cause I am just a girl
And I have no one who will go
And save me from this world
Come to me you superhero
Cause I am just a girl
I know cause you're no
Superhero

What did I expect I thought you'd help me
But I was crushed and beaten down

Yeah I've had my share of criminals
And you're no different from them all

I'm hangin on the edge of the world
I'm clutching to a string
And my life is crumbling down

I need a superhero someone to save me
I need a superhero someone to save me

Living in the sunlight Loving in the moonlight

2010-04-28T19:33:00.001+08:00

OMFG. Have I ever mentioned how gorgeous Avi is? He is freaking stunning. He came to school on tuesday and even though it is a wednesday he made it so special I have to like blog about it. He sat in every... (- biology)one of my classes and seriously, he made it 50 billion times better. Just he's smile OMG. HAHA (: and then we planned for a super slumber party at his place with some good DVD's, makan and great friends (; and he promises to make it happen!

Today however, was uhm hahaha strange. I got quite upset this morning even mom was concerned and I just said plainly that I missed the year 11s. Then the minute my mom stops the car, i run out to Izzy sitting at the bench so desolately. He's expression was priceless (: Then more and more came (: So happy.

Either than that, Ms chong threatened me with my mother today. Math was sleepy, Literature was BRILL. Like completely, Shakespeare this term (: LOVE SHAKESPEARE. He's the only guy I understand like seriously, according to MR.HURLEY. haha I had a thing for shakespeare, cause I got full marks for everything in Macbeth last year. (; do the aspidoid.

Then came to BS. Which was BS (: So now I've got books to read like mad and music to make. Check on ya later.

xxxx

superhero.

First and Last day of school.

2010-04-26T18:17:00.001+08:00

HOLY CRAP. I can't believe today was the most boring day ever. EVER. Thanks to the absence of the year 11's this is perfect you know. First day back Becs and I are crowned monitors... FML. Then physics, he's still hitting on ***. Malay, we immediately start on our malay final exam syallabus. Completely fine not like we didn't have exams recently or anything. 10 weeks of school till exams. Start studying now? Then year 11s and out of this ***. I want to rewind and slow down by like 4 times. Relive the moments then. Or... FASTFORWARD the most boring year of my life and then *** ;) break was the most saddest thing ever. Suki wasn't at school today and yet Calvin sat with us haha he promised not to ditch us (: He's friends are welcome to join...some. My years' cool but they have a problem with us but we're still homies indoors.
SECOND BREAK WAS THE BOMB. JASON our saviour BROWN came to school today and he's sitting in lessons, for his IGCSE revisions and it was great catching up with him and making more memories (: Hilarious boy (: Then the end of the day. So now i have no life and I have a Physics and Bio test tomorrow. So Ciao. :)

xxxx

I am obsessed (:

2010-04-21T01:32:00.003+08:00

The Notebooks : Noah and Allie

2010-04-21T01:25:00.001+08:00

Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?

Saturday

2010-03-20T23:57:00.001+08:00

Feels good waking up to a beautiful morning. The weather was somewhat perfect, after the rain. I spent the day reading and finished a book and half way through the second. Very perfect for me. Not so for someone else, my date sita... who I ditched.

Exhausted.

2010-03-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

Didn't need to go to school today and what a way to spend the day.
Then shopping with sita. We're freaks like that but then again we were supposed to be joined with shathes and reuben but nooo they wanted to play their ps3. lame shizzz.

So a day in one utama.. sums my day pretty much up.
oh and having a really good lecture about current issues in our society with the coolest person for like a long time. Can't imagine the world we live in today. Full of corruption and sick bastards.

I'm like emotionally exhausted after that talk. Now i think i'm seeing thigns through different eyes and I don't think its a concern. It's good. I understand so much more now.
But I'm still left with brainstorming ideas on new tactics to solve a plan.

Great tomorrow is school. Just what I need. Half an hour of homeroom, we're going to be crazy busy with the whole I.U day preps. An hour and a half of malay... I don't even want to touch anything malay after the exam on wednesday... DIE. Hour of swimming, die... I don't want to get wet and icky because Add Math is next. Stuck in a room with stinky sweaty boys from football. Frigging disgusting wei.
POOPOO. and then tuition at sita's house.
the girl's not even coming to school tomorrow.

DIE. GOODNIGHT.
x

Face down.

2010-03-13T03:36:00.000+08:00

Its 3 in the morning i've been talking to a millon people,
but there's only one person that i actualy want to talk to (:
TY, :)

come back soon (:
pooooooo exams...what am I doing tomorrow?
out and about.
crap. i feel nostalgic.

Dont you?
I feel like performing infront of people.
its my drug.

As soon as exams ends, its going to be hardcore dance practice,
hardcore band practice jamming and singing (:
oh glory

x
Luxmee

A deal with god or a pact with the devil.

2010-03-02T22:20:00.001+08:00

Obsessed with Placebo’s running up that hill. No i actually liked kate bushe’s original,

but this sounds more of a devilish cultic song, so obviously it appeals to me.

So far this term I’ve been in so many run through with rules and stuff like that…

For a quiet school, there’s alot going on in the inside, exams are on the way well next week..

I’m not sure either why i’m blogging, i should get back into this habit again.

this time i’ll promise to be a bit more mature. If i can soon grasp what that means. I’m feeling really nostalgic right now,

‘There’s so much hate for the ones we love’

x.lux

In her brilliant shiny ways

2009-11-08T23:47:00.001+08:00

I’m like well, not doing much, going to sleep probably. Uhm I couldn’t be bothered to do much homework… So uh-oh.

I have geography case studies to complete, whatever lah. I’ll do it in the morning. I don’t wanna go to school. The only reason I’m

going tomorrow is because we may be getting our t-shirts and hoodie and shiz like that for FOB. Anyways. im wasting time, i wanna listen to

top of the world and then i’ll fall asleep,

GOODNIGHT.

Lush.

TEENAGERS, we don't know anything.

2009-11-08T16:58:00.000+08:00

Friday night was well, woah.

It was interact night and yeah, there was jealousy and broken hearts and god damn dirty dancing.
You are reading the blog of one of the criminals, yeah. I was pretty much getting down and dirty
with well... anyone. HAHAHA and together with me is, SITA. That girl gave boners to 5 guys... all at once.
Me, i do one by one lah. HEHEHE. No well, whatever that's what happens when you're single. You get to do
whatever the hell you want to do. Any you don't need to care if you're offending anyone or not. Basically
you don't need to care about somebody else's feelings. Sounds cold but seriously, THAT is probably the
only thing thats good about being single. Not having to compromise anything for anyone else.

I, didn't have drama with anyone, I didnt give a fuck about anyone so yeah.

Yes, The PURE RHYTHM dance cru finally made their debut. It was awesome, may have forgotten some moves and improvised on the spot but who gave a fuck? We had fun. WE HAD FUN! The perfomances were totally kick ass. I love First Choice Freedom and Ashley and LILY! Oh gosh Lily was ahmazing! :) I feel like hugging the darling. Thank god the bitches of year 7 didn't get to perform because... they're audition was a disaster; there I said it.

So right now I'm blogging yeah, I don't do this much but so what? I'm going off for a week to a MUSIC FEST, :) aweshome yeahh. We're gonna be performimg. UNDERLINE --> PERFORMING at the Hard Rock Cafe! :) SEXY BOMB and now I have to do last minute shopping, my parents are being such bitches about it. SOZDHFJKSHSK. I WANT A CAMERA, how lame am I? I'm fifteen and cameraless. Yes, I'm sad, and yet i probably have close to 2000 pictures of myself on facebook. HOW DO I DO IT?! :P nah, its always handy to have a camera phone, no matter how crappy it is.

I'm really excited even though the bunch of us going to the fest is well, TINEH. STILL, i prefer small groups.
I'm not going to miss anyone really. LIES, I'.ll miss MONandSUK. The rest... okay boleh IM SO SORRY BECS I HAVE TO DITCH YOU FOR OUR GAY HOMEROOM ASSEMBLY REHEARSAL! Oh and I'm going to miss my dance cruuuu :( HMMMM I LOVE YOU GUYS, ahhhh i feel disloved. eh, what? hmm nothing.

I want to go shopping and fuck malay homework, I don't even understand the damn language.
:'( TEENAGERS, we don't know anything....
x

Luxmee.

I've never been so used, as he's using me. Abusing me. Im the little decoy.

2009-11-03T22:14:00.001+08:00

Uh-Oh someone's angry at me.
And I'm angry at other people as well.
I miss Balkis, wonder what's up with her, I wanna talk to Suk Han but then again our lives don't persist it. I can't believe I survived one day without Monia, great... now I got the rest of my life to go. That was probably the same thing I thought about when Christina left. Oh no it wasn't my thought was like 'SO long bitch.' but that was because she was so emo the last few weeks of her time at school that literally everyone got so annoyed at her. Things change. So yeah, I rarely blog nowadays. Year 10's gotten to me... I wonder how the previous ( current year 11s ) coped with having a social life and getting good grades are they literally that smart? Doubt so? I wanna hear your views if you actually are reading this. Well I would blog about my weekend and how awesome it was just I don't want to go into any details. So here's my itinerary :
~~Saturday~~

Wake up
Hurricane cleaning spree

One Utama shopping

45 minutes prep for The All American Rejects Concert
Matt's house
Concert
Went home.
~~Sunday~~ : nothingness.
But yeah.

xx sorry i wrote this like on mondayxx
live writer.

Let the sun wrap it’s arms around me

2009-10-28T23:10:00.001+08:00

Oh my gosh i forgot the concept for writing a blog now.
Okay whatever… I’ve been busy.
EVERYWEEKEND.

i either have something planned.. yeah no options is just i have something planed with friends everyweekend
no surprise i didnt get a good mid term report this term, but im changing?
fingers crossed.

I find that I’m happier now.. I know i’ve been upset.
Its like i couldn’t concentrate on anything I was doing…
I pigged out alot…
I was sad very often, I know the reason why i was like that.

Something changed… i’m not sure if for the better but i know that…
i’m not having expectations i’m just going with the flow.
So yeah i’d list out what i’ve been doing everyweekend but nahh.

Instead: This weekend –> friday: afterschool auditions for the dance
saturday: shopping and stuff with the boys for the dance
later, all american rejects concert
sunday:geog project with monia shathes and chan hee… we have to check out
hot sweaty men at my… OH SHIT, I NEED TO ASK CALVIN oh no we have norman ;)

NEXT WEEKEND: friday: interact night
saturday: PLEASE BE ALONE, oh wait, dental appointment…. hopefully that’s it.

Anyways, i have to go now… its getting late and im TIRED.
I’VE BEEN DANCING MY BUTT OFF.

I HAVE BRUISES ON MY KNESS AND BLISTERS ON MY FEET.
this dance should pay off.

x LUSH.

There's nothing surgery can do when I break your little heart in two.

2009-10-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

WHAT's UP. so i failed my mid term well in one sub.
:(
kinda grounded ish.
:O

whatever. bye.

I can't wait for you to Fuck me up.

2009-10-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

Soyeah... :) i decided to blog.
SHORT BLOG POST. i need to do hw and then i tidur.
:) i lvoeee sleeping early.

nights/

Hot Stuff Levitt. :)

2009-10-17T15:30:00.002+08:00

Sid and Nancy something I'm sure someone will like.
Hehehe i love levvit.

BRICK by BORING BRICK

2009-10-11T20:14:00.001+08:00

Keep your feet on the ground while you’re heads in the clouds.

Well… I had a good weekend. :) Balkis came over on friday night and she sleptover
Then on saturday monia came over and she slept over as well..
:)

I’ve got school tomorrow and I smell and I need to do my homework
and get to studying for physics!
:O URGH.

I need to burn my music into a CD.
NOW!

x
Lush.

Guessing and Guessing

2009-10-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

So I'm pretty sure nobody cares anymore to blog really, and well i understand.
Except, i rather the change in my blogskin. :)
Yeah it's panic its more me and well... It less trashier.

Balkis spent the whole night on the laptop finding blogskins and well she stumbled upon this skin for me.
That's what friends who know you well enough do.
So she sleptover last night.
I haven't seen this creature in the longest of times, guess
she sort of went into a hibernation mode.

Monia's supposed to be coming over at 3 and I already texted her the bad news.
I'm not sure how shes gonna take it... But.. I'M SORRY MONIA!
So yeah, these days have been pretty much crap for me...
I care about my studies, I do.
But it seems that I can't concerntrate on anything in class.
SERIOUSLY, even reading AT home I'm like screw this I got better thigns to do.

Whatever. Stuff's been happening, I'm not really happy.
I miss Suk Han even though I see her every freaking day. It feels like shes a 100 times away from me
than she really is... I feel like I'm on a leach. Caged up probably. I'm not on a natural high these days.
Believe me, in Year 8 and 9 I was a retarded crazy bitch.

Seems so serious now. Anyways, Balkis is showering and I didn't really expect to write a long post.
just like an update, I should get into blogging again I guess..

Anyways, Foods calling my name. :)
Good Morning stalkers and I hope you enjoy your saturday :)

x
Luxmee.

It doesn’t matter what I say

2009-10-03T16:04:00.001+08:00

This is getting ridiculous. Blogging I mean, I can’t keep up with it. I can barely keep up with school.

I feel like i haven’t gotten any sleep for years and found myself dozing off again today,
strange. Anyways, I’ll still update on what’s been going on at school.

Truth be told, girls will be girls and they will bitch fight until someone dies.
Monia’s leaving in 47 days?
That’s going to be something that will rock this world.
I don’t even mean it’s a good thing.
Anyways, where’s Balkis. I haven’t seen her in… 347892347239 years?
feels like it, haven’t talked to her much as well.
I feel like a distant relative to Suki as well… I FEEL SO OUT OF TOUCH.

GOD. I don’t even know what to say,
basically what’s been going on is that I’ve been taking charge
for a dance cru. yeah, dance cru.
BARBIE ARMY DANCE CRU.
BADC/ BAD.C.
shyeah sounds bad ass? Well either than that… nothing.

Fobissea Music’s coming up like after monia leaves… weird stuff
there’s nothing for me to say.
OH yeah met up with Whitey guywhoditchedmeinmelbourne.

COUGHCOUGH. whateves. hehe well he’s cool stuff.
I’m getting lazy. My blog’s looking like a mess.

Change of layout i suppose.
NOTETOGIRL THAT LIVES SO CLOSE TO ME: CALL MEH IF YOU WANNA COME OVER.

“ My doors are always open to the people I love”
too bad if i hate you. FUCK OFF.

love love love,
LUSH.

Its been a long long time

2009-09-28T22:24:00.001+08:00

FIRE in the city.
The first one is the worse one,
when it comes to a broken heart.
:(

I want to hide in a cave.
and never come out.

so that nobody cares about me anymore.

2009-09-18T14:39:00.002+08:00

YOYOYO this is the last post until a while im off to singapore and well
its going to be weird stuff i ahve laods of homework to do and its not
going to be a pleasant triup

BLAIR AND CHUCK FOREVER

2009-09-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

Season 3 gossip is out. HOT STUFF.

i love blair and chuck, theyre my heroes.

:) sigh, lovers like them who needs a life :P

" I know you, YOU'RE CHUCK BASS."
' I'm only Chuck Bass when I have you. '
<3

SIGH,

who cares about school.
<3 love luxmee.

I still love Kanye West

2009-09-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

Oh maybe not. Whatever, they're the ones getting rich and famous because of this,
their lives. I like Kanye but that was pretty low of him as for taylor swift i really reallyREALLY don't like
you but I'd admit it you have my sympathy for this matter.

Anyways, so today was weird I didnt like today,
I didn't like my weekend oh wait i went shopping. shyeah not very significant.

my life sucks. its so boring, im becoming a nerd 100%, IM SO BORED
i want to sleep but i cant, i have the funniest and most unexpected gossip to toy with
but its not funny anymore and shes mentally retarded so thats just not funny.
well shes not but i think she is, which i had to do a role play with this morning
but i didnt because she was absent adn she was the talk of the school
for the first time, and i bet she starts doing*** as well. which is sickk

And i have FOB music tomorrow, which is coool but at the same time something
i cant take seriously because were singing grace to the lord our god above,
which is disrespectful if we make fun of it but mr martin still does and makes us
all laugh so we are still disrespect... okay i should shut up.

BOTTOM LINE: worse day ever.

x

lush

Back again.

2009-09-12T09:53:00.000+08:00

At first one day without a laptop seemed like hell,
then I started doing my homework oh and not to mention i had no credit on my phone.
best day of my life right?
Yeah anyways. I pretty much liked it without a laptop.

I think now, I'm not going to be going online as frequently as i normally would.
And fingers crossed I do keep to my promise.

The week has been interesting.
Tuesday: Ahh crap I'm not sure what happened.
But there was drama between me and that dude for till like Thursday.
Oh and we had ecas, me and sita were doing FOB music together with;
Rozhana, someone, Ayesha, Daniel Dillion, and CHRRRRRISSSSSSSSS :D

So its gonna be pretty cool except when mr martin started laughing his ass off,
and we were all wondering why until he said, uhmmm... we kinda... gotta learn..
hallelujah... and were like oh yeah we know hallelujah by jeff buckley and he was like..
no.. mesiah, and were like... who is that?! and his like... HALLELUJAH HAAALELUJAH
HALLELUJAH! and were like... OMFG.

hahahah all these religious songs and even some in german... TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT.
even chris was like im outta here, mr martin give me the piano sheet!

Wednesday: i don't really remember what happened... ahh same old boringness.

Thursday: class class class... ECA! :)
Monia and I do dance club so yeah there was like troubles with the speakers and shiz
so we spent like most of the time fixing that oh and the power point.
the pen tip went in :P
and then we did this dancing with the stars warm up thing HAHAHAHAH
and we tried the cha cha cha! :P
and then we got down to business were gonna try and perform and so
were gonna be doing.... a dance but step up 2 style! :D
HELL TO TEH YES!

:D
I already got the whole outfits and what were gonna wear in my head.
Oh and before that, we had p.e which we did like lunges and shiz like that
and we did long jump.

and NOW my muscles HURT, well since friday but more now.

Friday: class class class. break, P.E which we had swimming.
we did LAPS, freaking hell and like in 4 minutes we had to swim as many laps as we could.
:'( I CANT SWIM! bleh!
I can only swim one lap and then I DIEEEE.
so after that we had add math and we couldnt go in the class because FNSKJFNSKJFNSKJ*****
and then we went to add math without anybooks and I UNDERSTAND ADD MATH
:D i'm a smarty poopy.
so that was cool stuff and then balkis came to school!
hahahhaha :D

so stuff and stuff.
and more stuff now its saturday morning and my arms ache, my thighs ache, my ham strings ache,
my butt muscles ache... my shoulders ache.
JDNKJSNJSKNDKJSNDSKJ homework taime!

:) hehehhe idk i enjoy being a nerd.

xlush

ONE WEEK

2009-09-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

I HAVE NO LAPTOP FOR ONE WEEK.

I have to lent it to my sister, her's got heheheheheh HER FAULT.
and now it's in the repair shop. :(

I DON'T CARE ABOUT BLOGGING.
I JUST WANT MY MUSIC.

:(
FML.

See you in a week. ish.
Well friday... :(

xLUSH.

The World Will Never Do

2009-09-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

Got off the phone with monia like half an hour ago,
finished my blog html after that, had a late shower.
Blogging now.

Gosh, I'm back to nocturnal mode.
Oh and I wrapped Sandra's present.
If I'm giving it to her tomorrow.
It's a most likely.

I can probably ride with her for like an hour or so... hmm
I'm hungry.

I feel like calling someone! ANYONE.
call meh. ;)
no really.

x.
lush.

Magnolia

2009-09-06T20:37:00.004+08:00

I've been spinning the hush sound the whole day.
hmm, I haven't blogged since wendesday
:O

Well, school school school.
Thursday: I had english and lit for 3 hours.
Yeah thank god its ms chong. :D
she's the coolest. :)

then business it was okay, for an hour.
then P.E we were all made to run our fastest.
YES, on our very first day of P.E BLEH.

Then we had ECA selections.
Tuesday: Fobissea music with chris and sita :)
Thursday: DANCE CLUB with MONIA and THE CRU.
:D

hahahahahahha good luck to the dance cru hahaha i think its ballroom.
HAHAHAHAHHAHA gosh the dudes are gonna kill me!

Breaks were fun :) so were afterschools.
Hahahaha matt's the coolest for hanging out with me :B

Friday: Homeroom- I got chosen as the head of the homeroom assembly.
HAHAHAH OUR homeroom assembly is gonna make people cry!
;D well touch people's hearts, I hope.
Then 1 and half hour of malay.
AS IS IT, for an hour period she eats into our break,
she still eats into our break!!!

Then P.E we had swimming but it rained, :D HAPPINESS.
then it was Add MATH.
WHAT THE CRAP IS POLYNOMIALS?!

teacher : you all should know what a polynomial is.
me: no.
teacher: monomials?
me: no.
teacher: binomials?
me. no.

Matt: She's sad, isn't she.
Me: NO IM NOT.
Chris and I look each other in the eyes, I give puppy dog face.
Chris: Nope, she's not sad.
she's messed up.
:D

Apparently school ends at 1 on fridays now! WHAT THE FUCK.
:(
So i told my mom to come late.
Stupid me didn't know it only takes effect next week.
and my mom came an hour later than she would.
No complains.
I hung out with Izz, Matt and Casper.
:S
OH AND GABY.
:D we've got a date to play starwars like early this year.
:) hehehehehehheeh me and gabe rocks at starwars!
:)

So those were pretty much my days.
I miss christina.:(
Balkis sleptover last night.
Wait, yeah she came over on friday and she sleptover.
She watched me sleep as shes so accustomed to sleeping late.
While I was dead tired and Izzy kept me up the previous day! :P

Saturday went to Ikano, popular to get school shiz,
and university bookshop, ahem that place is a haeven.
sorry i'm a nerd. HEHEHE

Then went home, me and balkis jammed!
:)
She was on the keyboard, and I was guitaring and both lah.
hehehehehehhe :D
:O he knows.
HE KNOWS.

anyways.
I want to read this awesome book, though izz says i shouldnt.
YOU CAN'T STOP A NERD LIKE MEH.

SO yeah, maybe I'll hang out with sandddraa and jassoonn :D
tomorrow.
MEMANDU MANDU.
:D
yeahhh alrightys good night lovers.

xLUSH.

My automatic world

2009-09-02T20:50:00.004+08:00

TODAY WAS THE FISRT DAY OF SCHOOL.

FML.
ihateschool.

I'm in love with Mon,Izz,Matt,Suk,Jase,Sands :D AND RUDEH.
and dun dun dun
BALKIS AND CHRISTINA,
because you are my babies and I miss you loads in school. :(

Starting school was kind of a blurrr... too fast paced
LOADS of changes.
The place, teachers, subjects, timetables, people....

There's this guy who I want to whack over the head.
Its like I'm a decoy.

You've been been so used, as I'm using you, abusing you.
My little decoy.
Don't look so blue, you should have seen right through,
I'm using you my little decoy.

Pretty much like that, I'm someone he can talk to online
but then at school he's just like... uhh what.
And I'm like you mother foking low life bitch.
Just when he thought I wasn't looking, he looks at this other person
and winks.

Shyeah. You call it socialising, I call it...
actually I don't really know what I call it.

But fer sure.
I miss suki and balkis right now.
I've always had then by my side. NO SERIOUSLY,
I'm goign to die.
OVER-DRAMAtic much?
NOPE.

I have loads to blog about but I think I shall do so...
after I'm done with my literature homework.
Or maybe not.

I still have math.
:(
YEAR 10.

Good bye.
LUSH.

I.D.G.A.F

2009-09-02T00:36:00.003+08:00

So yeah, i have school in a few hours, GRR.
I'm in 10 Grey.
With Monia, Becs, Ashley, jen ho ayesha shathes mun shen
and other people.
BLEH

hahah me and ashley have been in the same class since year 7.
and i have always been following in martin's footsteps since year 7 till now. :(

Suki's in 10 white.
:( I LOVE YOU SUKS.
I'll always be with you hahah thank god classes are in bands.

christina thought it was just like in year 8.

8 Red : Christina, Rebecca, Monia, Ashley and I
8 Grey: Suki
8 White: Sita Sophie and Balkis.

Now however its minue balkis and christina. :(
i need them girls.

It was always the angel, the human and the devil.
Suki, Myself and Balkis.

HAHAHA, well no.
I would be the drama queen with the issues and suki will sit on my...
THEY CHANGE POSITION. well yeah suki will be on one side telling me
to take things easy and not freak out, pretty much in a nice way
and Balkis will be on the other side telling me to don't give a fuck.
:D

This year is going to be different.
I think I'll stop by Balkis's house afterschool and fill her in. :)
yeah...
I think I wanna go tidur now.
School's CRAZEH.

good night lovelies.
x
lush.

little bit longer please?

2009-09-01T01:32:00.002+08:00

Still not done with literature homework.
The story is finally going somewhere though.
Bleh, i wish i could talk to him again.
:(

with or without you.
I CANT LIVE.
hahahah ;)
breathe carolina, yeah yeah u2.

drunk on love

2009-08-30T13:49:00.003+08:00

Its been a long. long. LONG week.

THURSDAY 20/8 : Party with Suki and Balkis
ditched Bday boy.
:) awesome day/night :P
SLEEPOVER-friday :D

FRIDAY 21/8 : Chill for a bit at Suki's place and then dropped Balkis home :)

Saturday : Chill at home, mid afternoon; Monia and Balkis drop by.
Hang out at my place for a while.
Do some catching up :D

SUNDAY23/8: Went out with Balkis and Monia to The Curve
and met Izz, Jason and Akbar :D
FUNFUNFUNFUN DAY and Night :)
sleptover Balkis's house :D
hung out next monday for a bit or a while.

MONDAY24/8: Hung out with Monia and Balkis till 6ish and then Monia left.
Hung out with Balkis, 11ish went home
and Balkis sleptover.

TUESDAY25/8: Paris Hilton's my new BFF :D
Balkis sleepsover again.

Wednesday: Balkis goes home, Paris Hilton's my new BFF :)

THURSDAY27/8:

stay up with suki till her birthday :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUKI :D:D:D:D:D:D:D LOVE YOU
little girl ;)

Christina comes over, I'm still asleep :P
fun fun fun got ready and walked to Balkis's house.
It started pouring rain.
HAHAHAHAH ran.
chilled at Balkis's and then left to Sandra's place.
Got lost and took an LRT to KL Sentral.
Walked to Sandra's appartment.
FUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUN :)

party over, jason,akbar and izzy sends me and christina to train station.
:D
bought burger king and ate, bought ticket.
Train gets delayed.
PANIC.
call izzy for emergency support!<3
got confirmation for ride back home
goes up escalator. sees matt.
matt goes down, matt comes up, matt follows us.
BRILLIANT RIDE HOME.
:) i love them boys.
thank you so so so so much jason akbar and matt :D
love you guys to death.

:)
the next day :)
ran home :)
FRIDAY: Christina sleptover, filmed music videos to My heart :)
awesome shots.
put music video together.
BAKED COOKIES, ehem... HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Don't ask.
MTV WORLD STAGE :D hehehehehe
TYSON HAAHHA MARTIN HEHEHEH ;)
then GAGA.

Saturday: Christina sleptover again.
Woke up early for Dental. erghk.
Dental, then daddy dropped us at sukis house.
We were the first!:P
swam first :)
HEHEHEHEH FUNFUNFUNFUNUNFUNFUNFUNFUN
makanamakanmakanmakan.:)
christina left :(
funfunfunfunfunfun

Went up to suki's place funfunfunfun well makanmakanmakan.
:) dad calls and I go home. :D

Sunday: BLEH homework.
:( gosh. I am EXHAUSTED.

xoxoxox.
hahehehhaheahhe love love love love.

gosh i need a break hahah :D

LUXMEE.
lush.

THIS WEEK

2009-08-26T18:20:00.002+08:00

SO yeah it was fun fun fun :)
hehehhe

CHRISTINA'S COMING OVER!
tomorrow,

IDCproductions is on the move :)

sandra's tomorrow.
hmmm we'll see if our plan falls through.
:s hopefully it does!

heheeh

Living A Little Lie

2009-08-22T19:46:00.002+08:00

Hello, I woke up okay nevermind.

I watched the Ugly Truth last night :) it was good stuff.
HEHEHEHEHHEHE

and uhm, well I finally reached the good parts of the great gatsby.
yeah, you may think im lame taking 938482957 days reading it but dude.
its boring.

so monia and balkis came over :)
HEHEHEHEHHEHEHHEEH i was like UH OH
because my sister was having tuition so yeah they are
loud people ;)
so we chilled, talked, bitched and laughed.
:)

15 minutes after I've met Monia
me : OMG MONIA I CANT BELIEVE YOUR BACK FROM CHINA!
monia: OMG I KNOW RIGHT, IVE BEEN HERE FOR SOMETIME ALREADY!
me: ....

balkis: MY STALKERS DETERIORATED! I HAD 35 NOW I HAVE 32
monia: sigh this girl ah, well how many do you have luxmee? :)
me: .... eleven....
monia: and look whose complaining-
balkis: ...

we were supposed to bake cookies but im not letting balkis near any of them
and we were supposed to watch superbad but uhh
it was break fast time. nope. neither the 3 of us fast.
but balkis's family expects her home so yeah.

the end.
ill probably write on myself now.
oh and the curve tomorrow.
:) girly girl time.
i think?

xlush.

Baby go crazy break the rules

2009-08-21T19:51:00.003+08:00

What I did while I was on the phone :D

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehe

Izz: Luxmee, what do you think your daddy would say?

Me: HE SHALL NOT FIND OUT!

....

Izz: Can I have your dad's number?

Me: sure.

HEHEHEHEHEHE

xlush.

DEMON DOG

2009-08-21T15:09:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA, muffin.

I got an allergic reaction at suki's house.

I got all red. :O

TALKTALKTALK like the threesome we'll ever be.

HearttoHeart, running clutching a stich(sp?)

MILODINOSAUR SOMETHING SOMETHING!

SUKI makes the best drinks.
I start taking pictures of the drink,
suki: im not done yet.
me: neither am i. :D -snaps pictures-

Suki's aunty MAKES THE BESTTT FOOD LORs. ;)

Suki has a demon dog and shes the demon.

'I'm walking on the edge of the balcony suki, I'm going to fall.'
- muffin : BARKRUFFRUFF, ' GOD DAMN IT MUFFIN!'

TAKEN,
suki wouldnt stop talking! :P
OH OH I LIKE THIS PART.

me: OOOOOOOOooooooooh THAT GOTTA HURT.
I WANT A DADDY LIKE THAT.
no guys, i dont hit on dads.
balkis: not yet.
suki: ...mmmm.

FINAL DESTINATION.
suki: IM NOT SITTING ALONE.
-shoves balkis and myself and shiushes in between-
better.

MONSTER HOUSE.
me: snores. CRAP I FEEL ASLEEP FOR 10 MINUTES!

CORPES BRIDE.
me: look at balkis
balkis turned and asleep.
suki whacks balkis.
balkis: uuuuhhhhhhh.... - lifts hand up -

:D:D:D:D:D BALKIS BALKIS!! HELP ME!
balkis: WHHATAT WHATT>!>!nNBSJKFHJSKNFKJSNFSK
me: oh i was just pranking you, sorry. drama queen :D

BALKIS: SUKHAN YOU AND YOUR DOG SHUISED ME LAST NIGHT.
me: hehehehe :)
suki: that's because you had the extra pillow. :D

me: SHIT BALKIS MAN CAN YOU FAST WALK!

hehehehe dressing suki up!
hahahah
me: GOD DAMN SUKI YOU DON'T NEED ANYMORE SHORTS.
suki: luxmee, can i change the skirt-
me: to shorts i know. go ahead. ;sigh.

:D
anywaysss.
yeah it was a really really fun time! :)
too bads christina couldnt make it :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

oh and dude who called me and told me about killing a roach
with hot water.
smart stuff.
bye.

xlUSH.
<3

Your Heart Is An Empty Room

2009-08-20T00:19:00.003+08:00

Happy 15th Birthday dear Daniel.
have the best fucking day you can ever see in your
god damn life :)

Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue

Home's face: how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

And all you see is where else you could be When you're at home
And out on the street Are so many possibilities to not be alone

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need
Cause you knew you were finally free

Cause all you see is where else you could be, When you're at home
Out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone
And all you see is where else you could be,
when you're at home,
There on the street,
are so many possibilities to not be alone

Chase you down until you love me

2009-08-19T18:50:00.003+08:00

Sitting at home :)

In the living room this time. CHANGE OF SCENE.

I've been dancing non-stop, it feels good to float away.
with the beat of the music, and holding the lyrics in your hands.

Besides that, I've been catching up on HOMEWORK.
The Great Gatsby, truth be told.

It's pretty boring, I understand it but its SOO LONG. for like
a pocket book.

I also cleared my day tomorrow for someone's birthday,
but NOOOO his a drama queen.

anyways, i'll probably hang with christina or izzy tomorrow instead.
yeah maybe christina I haven't seen her in agess.

hehehe texting her now!
:)
let's see...
I thinking of a world stageness thingy with some people.
For those who missed worldstage, let's watch it on MTV
AUGUST 28, 9pm my house.

But, let me ask with mommy and daddy first. :P

TTLY.
luxmee,
:d

Hot mess and im like HOT DAMN.

2009-08-17T21:29:00.003+08:00

Woke up earlier than usual.

Was on the phone last night. party planning.
stranger on my roof.
scared the shit out of me.

so finished my music video.
its like memories,
i still have to edit the I WANT CANDY DEAD.

I'm in love with COBRA's new album.
HOT MESS.
;)
love love love.

going to late night talk tonight with izzy,
let's break the record!

Christina's been sending me videos and pictures of WORLDSTAGE.
They look so delicious.
:(
I love you martin k and j and tyson and gabe and brendon and ryan and bill beckett
and and and and haha yes christina, MAJOR PLAYER.

♂ luxmee. says:
*ryan ross
*aiyuoohh major PLAYAAA
٭christina .m.a.y.h.e.m. Eat, Drink And Be Gorgeous says:
*i got two words for youu!!!
♂ luxmee. says:
*??
*;p
٭christina .m.a.y.h.e.m. Eat, Drink And Be Gorgeous says:
*DREAM ONN!!
♂ luxmee. says:
*HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

heheheheheheheh LOL and pual and nick and HEHEHEHE.
:P

Cute not HOT

2009-08-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hello lovelies.

So I shall recap the last two days.

Waking up at 3 in the afternoon and having balkis and sarah knight
in front if my house. Was I dreaming?

No really, here i am probably with drool on the edge of my mouth.
Hair in a birdsnest fern, walking downstairs.
Balkis I can live with...

But it was the best first encounter with Sarah :)
ghahaha i hope she doesnt think of me that ungroomed!
:S

So after that I went to balkis's house along with Sarah and we hung out there
for quiet a while, so it was pretty cool. We chat alot and yeah :)
FUN STUFF.

Then Sarah went back and me and Balkis met Sarah's mom which was wicked :)
then me and balkis hung out the rest of the day and chat with
NORMAN pronounced : NOR-MEN.
and Balkis's brother :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOTS OF THINGS WERE SAID.
uhm then it was pretty late andBalkis's brother sent us back to my house.
hhaha illegal driving but first we went to 7 eleven and we got stuff...
uhmm. let's see... bouth red bull.

Then we sleptover my place where we watched the NOTEBOOK.
ALLIE AND NOAH FTW!
i love that movie, we didnt want to watch anything else after that.
But we watched 10 things I hate about you once again.

RIP HEATH.

yeah then IDK what we did oh we sat and asked loads of questions
to the magic answer ball haha on my laptop.
He is GOD.

Then yeah we chat chat chat went to sleep
FINALLY i got balkis to wake up at 3-4ish this afternooon!
WOOO! hahaha and then we were on the computer the whole while
yeah we only had one meal today,
BRINNERUNCH.
so yeah

We made another video as apposed to our old video of I want candy dead.
I'll post both the old and the new versions.
So yeah that's it.

Martin;s birthday is in like 9 minutes.
Hi's turning 16.
Gosh I miss him loads.

COME BACK.
bye bye

good night children.
x

Convent Kid

2009-08-15T01:58:00.003+08:00

Its two in the morning. I'm bored.
Haha

My day is completely useless to describe.
Daydreaming alot :P
No doubt about who.

MJ.
:P
World Stage is in a couple of hours and god damn it.
I hate it.
SO MUCH.

Can't AAR and BLG just come to my house, that's where the party
really starts, ;)

HAHA, in my dreams. Like I said, daydream.

I've been looking at photos alot.
and movies, I really love filming movies though.
Unfortunately, where's obstacles which I think too much about.
And in the end, I don't do it.

Pictures I saved for BLOGBLOGBLOG.
:)

Oh today I went on my old old old ANCIENT, computer
and found conversations I had with my friends, oh my gosh.
It was just a yaer ago.
I don't remember who I used to be.
I used to be effortlessly funny.

Really, I amuse myself.
I sat there laughing my butt off and my mom's just wondering what I'm up to.
Miss it.
Miss them.
Miss me.

goodnight,
luxmee.

We all have to fit in.

2009-08-11T19:10:00.003+08:00

Hello Hello.

So let me tell you about my weekend,
NUMERO UNO.

1. stayed at home.
2. My whole family in Singapore came to malaysia. Literally. All.
Except for the odd cousins... well there were only 6 cousins that came.
the rest were old people.
No seriously.
Like we went for dinner and there was 30++ of us.
Uhhuh.

So family goss... I shall use key words.
Cousin 1 - Abortion. Female. Age 19
Cousin 2 - Jail. Female. Age 16

And my mom thought I was bad.
Who looks like the perfect daughter next to them?
But apparently its always me and my sister that gets the bullshit.
Just because we moved to malaysia to improve our education,
were the ones being criticed to be weak and unable to handle the pressure in
Singapore.

Good ol' Singapore.
When people stop committing suicide due to their education, call me.
Sure it happens everywhere, but when I was a nine year old kid. Okay.
Nine.
Kids we already dropping dead.
How in gods name to you answer that?

Anyways.
So monday, I'm supposed to go out with Christina to Sunway but ...
MY MOM AND DAD.

Today, my mom came bursting in my room:
' I refuse to send you to The Curve today. ' end of conversation.
After about and hour wait no 2 hours of persuading and calling up Balkis
who is my life saver :)
I finally got her to let me go.

It started at 11, but we made it there at 12.
SHOCKING PART : no one was there yet.
hahahah well we didnt panic so yeah :)
Uhmm so we hung out in borders.
Hot stuff.

Then Daniel walks in.
Yeah.
Then we walked abuot then uhm... wait what happened again.
oh we run.
and we went to Rock Corner.
Then Joshua walks in.
:O
Then they meet up, me and balkis takes hostage under the table where you
get to listen to stuff.
and We hid.
uhmm.

Musiked for a bit.
Then went to Cineleisure.
Movie tickets.

Bowling. HAHA.
I got ONE SPARE.
DAMN i used to be good.
Gosh hahah me and balkis shall train for bowling!
:P

uhm uhmm then movie.
PANASNYA. Oh my God. Channing tatum hahah ;)
Uhm... yeah OMG remember the line.
' AND IM BACK IN THE GAME?!'
Heath Ledger, 10 things I hate about you. Cameron?
LOVE HIM TO DEATH,
that was the guy that looks alike to martin . me and balkis
watched a movie at my house :P

Well I watched it like when I was.... 10 i think.
and I remmeber i loved it so much because it was based on the
shakespeare play : The Taming of the Shrew.
So yeah :)

and Well Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles :)
and of course.
JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT.
my FAVOURITE ACTOR OF ALL TIME.
Since hahahha :P
LAST LAST YEAR?! :P

He was in 500 days of summer.
I screamed when I saw him on TV,
His so instantly recogniseable. :)
OH and balkis read an article about and ABC remake of
10 things.
FUCK THEM.

ITS AN INSULT.
Sigh I shall always remember gordon as CAMERON.

He's a geek. I love him. :)
AND HE PLAYS A HOT BAD BOY.
well the acts... i mean the doctor... is NOT HOT IN g i joe.
but REX. :) He looks good in a soldiers outfit :P hehehe.

uhm uhm... yeah so after that.
me and balkis ditched.
shyeah... because it was so fun!
so anyways.
we went shopping

checked out this japanese shop.
uhmm nichii and i bought a top and a dress.
AHH i want a fedora.
:(
anyways.

then we walked around FOS
a bit then we went to MJ
and then like we tried the beat :)
baahhha went around in there. I found JMMY CHOO heels.
HAWT STUFF.
I went crazy for heels today.
sigh.

Im broke.
Uhm..
Let's see.
walked abit then Daniel found us, hung out a bit in
California Cafe
there was an offer RM 6 for 2 cakes.
Daniel bought ice cream for like uhm what?
RM 12?!
yeah..
that its...
then the end.

:)

SEE you I want to read my book now
and I have a headache.

I shall post a video of Heath Ledger from 10 things i hate about you.

God I love you Heath.
YEAH DO THAT SEXY SLIDE. ;)
Rest in Peace.
xxx
LUXMEE.

Run

2009-08-09T15:26:00.004+08:00

Sorry my last post was about my pictures and looking back at what I wore.
Well my computer was a bitch and shut down on me so.
I'll edit that some other time.

Wasted 30 minutes of my fucking time.

ANYWAYS.
SO last night was amazing.
Hahaha as lame as I sound, NO i did not go out.

I STAYED AT HOME AND ROCKED OUT TO MTV WORLD STAGE.
hahahhaha lily allen was on first and well I reluctantly watched her,
and well I think she's not that bad after all now... HAHA PREJUDICE.

At the same time I was texting SUKI :) hahha sorry for the late replies,
(we were talking about ***HEHEHE, the right word ;)
I told you I was watching world stage hahah:P:P
IT WAS GOOD STUFF KAY!

AND THEN my favourite part of the night.
SNOW PATROL i was like panicking when they came on,
I texted Daniel to let him know that Snow Patrol was on.
RUN was FFFUUUCCKIING AMAZING!
The crowd was like chorus, DUDE i felt so emotional at the time.
I think I nearly cried.
HAHA :)
So was Chasing Cars.
Sorry I didnt reply suki I was crying my eyes out :P

So yeah, I'll post the video of RUN because seriously.
Guarenteed, You'll die.
AHHH its like its ringing in my ears.
:)
So yeah, then after that I kept flipping the channels and well,
it was bosan. so wtv.
Stayed up till, uhmuhmmm 5 last night :P
couldnt sleep... too much thinking. :(

Uhm... SO TODAY.
Sita called at like 12:20pm and i was like... JFKSJFSKFNSKJNFJSFNKS
yeah. and then 20 minutes later I rolled out of bed
and went straight to the laptop.
:P

GOSH SOCIETY OF TODAY.
So yeah, Panicked for a bit and TYV for a bit as well.
Then I went down... uhmm chilled.
SHIT, got to go out tonight with like my family.
Well no its not a bad thing, unless you count meeting :
6 uncle and aunties with their spouse and children and my grandmother.
whom I haven't seen in SO LONG.
My gran is the coolest, the makes the BEST FOOD.
:)
my cousins on the other hand...
Well let's say no one is more kgjslfndklfsd about this than my dad.

Story goes, his sister, [ my aunt ] family stuff. you know stuff happened.
He fucking hates her now, ( and so i thought the rest of the family, and a couple of HER OWN KIDS) he didn't even aknowledge her in his job resume and all that official shit stuff.
He said and quote " It's like she never even existed. " - Last thing my
dad said about his sister, one of them. Okay the eldest sister.

Next thing I knew, while we went off to Malaysia, S'pore people
are like... IDKing. and so theyre best of friends now. I think.
Eh.

WHATEVER, why I do not like them?
Well, their kind of rude to me.
Why?
Well the judge the way I speak, the clothes I wear, the way I behave.
They think I come out from those High Society Prep Schools.
YOU SEE ON TV.
They judge my friends, they judge my personal belongings.
Everything, so basically.
Bottom line : They think I'm a bitch and a wannabe.

TRUTH BE ****ing TOLD : I can't help it that I went off to Malaysia and studied [ am studying ] in a BRITISH INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL, I can't help the fact that over here.
We mix around, friends of different sorts, no serious racial abuse. Just some jokes,
but like I said, NOTHING serious. I can't help it that over there, you stick with you're own kind.
Which is so fucking IRONIC, because last time I went to school there,
There was a thing called 'Racial Harmony Day'
pretty much like I.U day over here...
But, yeah.

so sorry i had to burst out swearing and shit like that.
:(
Now i feel bad.
Well, whatever, I'll just grit my teeth and let them judge me and critise me.
one night. then its over.

Good bye.
Oh and Run.
x

!lush.

Looking back

2009-08-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Touch, Sight, Taste like Fire.

2009-08-08T03:08:00.004+08:00

What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound.
Say now you want to shake me too.
Move down to me slip into you.

So about today,

I got back home, did some finishing touches on the gate.

Yeah incase you didn't know I've been given a task from daddy to do:

Paint parts of the gate, gold.

Daddy repainted the gate and he wanted me to do the gold bits so yeah.

My fun for the summer.

Sorry my phone hasn't been able to reach me today it was dead so yeah.

Not like okay nevermind.

Uhm, relatives are coming over tomorrow actually I think they're driving here now.

Gosh, well whatever.

Oh,OH christina came back from Phuket and I need need need a sleepover with her!

Suki as well, she's going off to Redang on the 12.

Which I unfortunately couldn't be able to make it.

Yeah, no it wasn't my parents, I didn't make it in time for the deadline :S

sorry suki!

I feel exhausted.

Yeah its the late night sleeping.

Thoughts are keeping me up, I swear I'm so close to begging my parents

to send me to see a therapist.

I used to have one, Martin Kim.

But he left me, off to somewhere.

Speaking of MK, his 16th Birthday is coming up.

:) I wish I could get to see him soon :(

His breaking my freaking heart.

Who else?

Oh and Daniel's as well. Except his turning 15.

Shyeah. His like a foot taller than me, but I'm 7 months older than him.

Ironic?

Not really anymore.

Who else?

SUK HAN, yeah except...

god they're getting younger.

Suki's turning 14!

WTF. I was 14 like a year ago... going to 2 years.

My my, well let suk han remain innocent, pure and UNCORRUPTED.

HAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHA OJ,AJ and BJ ;)

all the nakal, gatalness in that sentence. ;)

Let's see...

I'm sick and annoyed at a few people.

Particularly of the opposite sex, 2 actually of that.

Particularly two from the same sex as well or make that 3 okay just cancel that bit out.

Izzy and I have a plan, on new years eve and its going to be a fucking BLAST.

Whatelse,

yeah its 3 in the morning.

I'm so bored.

I MISS MATTHEW.

:( I want him back!

His currently diving in Sarawak.

What a way, okay I should shut it.

It is a good way to spend the holidays, I'm just being a PMSing bitch.

:( He's only coming back on the 26th, yeah his missing world stage.

Well no difference I dont have the tickets to go for it anyways.

But the alternative is my trustworthy old-school, TV.

God. I haven't said Hey to Chris in a while.

Yeah, cutting contact from people, DETOXICATING.

Kinda worth it.

I'm not like that person whose a social conscious catterpillar [ not butterfly ]

who goes around texting people and calling them, resulting in a huge bill

then would USED TO blame on me.

Sure. Except we don't talk anymore.

I prefer to talk to people, FACE to FACE.

Get the YIN and YANG bitch.

Anyways.

I think I'm going to turn in right now, my headache cannot keep up with me anymore.

Pictures? :)

goodnight,

'what's this? No ghouls and monsters underneath the bed!'

Stay with me, This is what I need. Please.
x!luxmee.

Alright Alright I surrender to my blog skin

2009-08-07T20:22:00.005+08:00

I cant change it to not be italics and i love the softness of this layout this time round.
Im not the moody girl I used to be I guess...
Yeah anyways.
:)

Whoever who knew me before can tell you in detail I went mental for CUPCAKES
before. BEFORE. before all the drama and well, jealousy. BEFORE THAT.

so yeah. I have a major headache.
I feel asleep at 4 that's because my comp shut down on me while I was doing my skin.
Then i woke up early today.
Went out with my mom and dad
They went to do groceries and I sat in borders fighting a war with myself
on which book to get.

Here are a few of the billions I could remember, I wanted to get :

Books I bought instead. :( :

Books I haven't read yet :(Last 3 books credit goes to sita :)

xxx THAT IS MY HOLIDAY. oh and my relatives from singapore are coming over.
Uh Oh.... :'(
wells. tatas.
SEEYOUS.

au revior.
LUSH.

rethink this case

2009-08-07T03:32:00.001+08:00

was it worth a try.

it's more or less the other way.

im annoyed because i can't find the code to not ITALIC my blog posts.

NFKJDNFKDS.

Uhhuh

2009-08-06T20:08:00.003+08:00

Waiting by the phone.

HAHAHAHA my dreams.
anyways, i really don't like it when people don't talk to me for like
a billion years and SUDDENLY out of NOWHERE.

hi.

and then im like... WHAT THE F.
anyways IZZY is the bomb. :)

I really enjoy his company. :)
So yeah, OH yeah

Oh Wednesday, Balkis, Sita and I went out to The Curve
and Cineleisure
:)
Sita picked us up from my house and yeah it was so freaking fun.
That girl is so hilarious.
Gosh shes alot to handle though.
hahahahhaha :)

' BALKIS, DON'T TOUCH THE WINDOWS AND DOORS.'

or or

Sita's Bro ( ANIL ) : .....dsjkajknajkfnjka
Sita: Why are you using my CUP?!
Myself: how would YOU know its your cup?!
Sita: Because my FACE is on it.

Anil turns up around.

SITA!
HAHAHAHAHHAAH =)

Sita: That's my nasi lemak,
Myself: How would you know? Let me guess, BECAUSE YOUR FACE IS ON IT.

So yeah, it was fun stuff :)
we read sita's puberty book and we were brushing up our knowledge on HAHAHAH;)

Whilst daniel was on the phone with me i was crying over his piano piece
and sita and balkis were ogling over the puberty book.
HAHAHAH can you picture it?

:P

GOSH, what girls do at a sleepover.

Daniel: No, what YOU do at a sleepover.
Myself: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!
Daniel: nothing nothing, ( im sure smiling to himself)

So yeah, heard the drama?
I have.
comments? :
HAHAHAHAHHAHA GOOD LUCK!
A
L
S
S
my my so many girls in one year....
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER.
YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER
YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCK- KER.

song song my lovelies.

I know someone whose a bastard.

Truth be told, i know a few bastards.
:S

anyways.
SEE YAH.
x
x
x

!lush.

oh and read about wednesday on balkis's blog
so lazy.
there was this part about this african dude hitting on me and then when
he heard sita was part african he started liking her.
FUCKER.
see you.

That's not fair

2009-08-05T18:40:00.003+08:00

What makes people act like who they are?
Fakers.

SSS

Devils, the Satans call from hell. They represent the messengers, which convey the most horrible secrets, lies, and of course truth.
However so, they recide with all of us. How oh how can we bring the downfall of these burdensome bunch? You cannot. You can only hope and let them destroy themselves.
If one tries ways in order to do so, one will get burnt in the process resulting in a poor outcome.
There is no need for such, but I am not like you.

and I'd like to say:

'Let's rock this bitch.'

anyways.

SUKHAN i cant come to redang. :(
I love love love love love love love you loads :)
ill blog more later.
:)

x

beware: the SSS.

Cops and Robbers

2009-08-02T22:04:00.008+08:00

HELLOO my apologies for not blogging in a while.
Ive been sick of the computer... yeah.

It can be so for a while, after I came back from Melbourne it was kinda like that.
Well I havent really told you just what I did in Melbourne
But... Lazy to blog and I dont think you guys would want to spend time reading it anyways.
So..
Bottom Line : NO didnt meet Alex White, lazy ass.
And Uhmm wanted to puke a few times, no not airsick
more like car sick, we went up to Lake Mountains where it was
SNOWING :) shhhyeahh that is the coolest thing, and well
it was a long ride and daddy was going too fast so...
:(

Uhm WAIT.
okay let me arrange it
DAY 1 : Airport (malaysia) : text some people goodbye,
messeed around with sister in the airport.
7 hour flight, -- 9.30pm - 5.00 amish malaysia it was 7 in melbourne.
COMPLETE JET LAGGED, watched movies and listened to music
pretty mnuch annoy my mom hahahaha i was singing with the remote thing
and this hot guy looked back and i dropped it and was like..
uhh anywayss.... hahha hilarious.

uhmm so got there was fraeking shocked to see myself smoking.
i was like oh right, its my breath.
it was 4 degrees when we landed.
7 degrees in the city.
yeahh and took pictures.
got in a cab.
went to the service apartment.
it was tiny but cool stuff. :)
me and sister slept in the sofa bed :)
uhmm... went around for a bit. called and texted alex white
but stupid boy didnt get it... well not him well my network thing.
uhmm went around the whole of melbourne citty
leterally walekd in the cold I LOVE THE WINTER WEATHER.
BLAAAH i miss it SO SO SO SO SO SO much.
i practicalled feel asleep on the 'city circle' its a tram ride around the city
and well... hahah :P
walked around and that pretty much woke me up.
uhhm.. went to VICTORIA MARKET, vic market
and my parents were like why dont we drop at alexs house or soemthing..

hahah he had school and well NO WAY AM I DROPPING AT HIS
HOUSE WITH MY PARENTS.

Day 2: went to lake mountains
woke up at like 8 in the morning, or was it 6 or..
IDK SCREW TIME DIFFERENCES.
and uhm... it was a pretty long drive there.
went up and took pictures.
it was snowwwww :)
hahaha fun fun stuff
and I saw a wombat walk right on my toes i was like..
AWW YOURE CUTE!
so yeah... we spend the whole day there.
then we went down... and i passed out in the car
because it was winding and shit...
while i passed out my parents went to coles
Coles is a hypermaket there, 22000000 times WAY BETTER
THAN COLD STORAGE really. like seriously.
I went there on day 3. :P
We bought dinner to cook up back at the apartment
then drove back home.

Day 3: we went to go to ride the 'puffing billy'
a steam train
it was cool and we took the train to get there.
dude, not to toot my own horn but I AM PRO
AT USING THE PUBLIC TRANSPORT IN MELBOURNE NOW!
hahahha :)
hot guys on the train. embarrassing moment.
NOT TO BE TOLD HERE.
uhmm cool stuff the puffing billy,
we went to the lake at the end of the ride
and we had lunch there i took pictures
and i had to piss so i went to the toilet there
it was by the lake and god forbid.
i swear my butt froze to the toilet seat.
shyeahhh.

ANYWAYS.
so yeah we did that for the whole day
and yeah... :(
sadness because thats all we did.
because of my sister we only had a few days.
YOU KNOW WHY. because she wasnt suppposed to come along
she has college and she would be missing school
but no being a the brat she always is... with her.. horrible voice.
IDK her voice irritates me.
she wante to come along and it was only so we could stay for 3 days.
on the 4th day we spent our time mostly in the airport.

FUCKER.FUCKER I WISH SHE DIDNT COME ALONG.
shyeah i got really annoyed with her during the whole trip.

ANYWAYS so thats it.
Besides that ive been cooped up at home
and well i went to balkis house on i forgot what day and we hung
out with suki and calvin
you read it on balkis blog lah.
Lool lazy to type.

but yeah me and calvin were in balkis house for like 2 hours
it was fun we watched music vuideos and talked a bout music
and his band it was cool stuff :)
hahahahahah his cool man.

anyways.
so yeah no plans for the holidays so people call me contact me
anything i dont care who you are, i am nice and i like to hang with people
so if you want me to come for anything PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU
LET ME KNOW.

:)
so yeah tomorrow i hate to paint the gold stuff on the gate of my house so
well i did it today but i have more to do as welll
and yeah... :)
then going to balkis house.
tidur-over and then pergi jalan jalan nextt day,
supposed to go out with daniel but... not like he cares right?

anyways.
COOL STUFF
and ill leave you with pictures from the trips,
they're pretty sucky because it was a camcorder...
NEVER GET CAMCORDERS TO TAKE PICTURES.
we left the camera because we thought it would be alright because
we already have the camcorder.
BUT NO: bring along cameras and camcorders.
truth be told i prefer cameras than camcorders :P
yeah SEE YOU!

x
x
x
!LUSH

Here lies the most kindest cat, Starwars/Curly.

2009-07-28T12:46:00.002+08:00

It is as so, returning from Melbourne...
Finding fatty in my room... not so good.
My bed is completely destroyed.

Starwars came and truly he was the only cat that actually liked me.
I remember Starwars when he was just a baby.
He was the most friendliest kitten out of the lot but his appearance was odd to me.
Reminded me of those creatures in Starwars.
Hence I dubbed him, Starwars.

Later on, it became apparent that his tail would not curl out.
I truly was one big curl inwards. Not a straight tail.
Hence my MOM named him Curly.

It was pretty much war from then on.
I'd call him Curly, but whenever we're alone.
ITS STARWARS BABY.

Starwars knew all of my friends that came over.
He knows Sita very well... and hahaha well the first time of their meeting was hilarious.
Eventually Starwars became a favourite of Sita
AND he wasnt scared of her anymore.

Balkis would always talk about Starwars and of course Fattie :)
Starwars was a cool cat.
He loved Christina as well, took some time to get used to but :)

Last night, Fattie wouldnt shut up.
Like really I was sleeping in the family room.
my room was a warzone.
and he keep mewing and i didn't do anything.

About half and hour ago,
my mom called out
'Luxmee, Curly's dead.'

no.
he was knocked out.
his eyeball popped out of his socket.
Those deep blue eyes I would envy so bad.
Really it was true I loved his blue eyes.
White fur.
pink nose.

So this one is for you Curly, Starwars.
May the force be with you.

love from earth to your spirit up above,
Luxmee and Mom and Dad and Sister.

p.s you truly were the cat i loved, hehe, favouritism :)

Whose going to watch you die?

2009-07-23T02:18:00.001+08:00

Its 2 in the morning,
I'm on my laptop and listening to the splatter of rain
on my roof, its rainning.
I love the rain especially when I'm asleep
but I'm not.

love of mine, one day you will die.
i want to take *** back.

Your Heart Is An Empty Room

2009-07-23T02:14:00.003+08:00

I love Death Cab For Cutie :)
----

I miss them, all of them I let go as I grew.

I need space, but not too much.

They don't understand me.

I think I'm falling for him.

love is watching someone die.
lux.

cool shirt i get to wear

2009-07-22T17:18:00.002+08:00

going through all my things
and i remember buying this shirt
in 07 but never wearing it... because it was long sleeved.

FYI, i was the one who discovered shake it and metro station.

Dont believe me?
ASK MY SCHOOL.

:D

melbourne tomorrow?

2009-07-22T16:23:00.004+08:00

SO hello I am going to be flying off to melbourne tomorrow.
I know i thuoght i had a longer time to pack
but this morning... afternoonn ( woke up at 1.23pm)
i woke up and started trying things on.

DISASTER, i have no clothes for WINTER.
I AM SOMETIMES A BIT SLOW.
Turned down shopping with mom and dad yesterday
and now, IM DEAD.

Hahaha well, unfortunately I'm goign there for like...
3 days. My sister has college and insists she comes along to melbourne as well
and basically she has no holiday so she has to skip 2 days of school
to follow. Oh no what a mess... biatch why can't she stay at school while we
head off doing our thangg there?

Hmm well I'm not sure what we'll be doing but i'll be contact
ALEX white over there so.
WERE GONNA MEET UP :)
ahhh i miss that kid, well now that his grown I.. uhh..
nevermind hahha.

Apparently he is buff..
OH AND BERHAN :)
can't wait to finally meet him.
:)

sigh, i got no one to miss over here so...
whateveerrrrr,
oh i'll miss christina, balkis, suki, matt,chris and IZZUL :)
they are the bestest.
I'm supposed to be packing now... but i'm uhh blogging
and eating good mango yogurt :)

~~SUMMER~~ WINTER IN MELBOURNE.

good bye,
' goodnight, travel well. '

-LUSH.

apparently, mummy doesn't think I have a chance to be fashionable in melbourne.
WE SHALL SEE!
;)

oh and daddy bought a new camcorder, PHOTO TIME ;)

malas to recap

2009-07-20T18:39:00.003+08:00

Okay i am lazy to blog...

when did i stop?
oh right, uhm okay friday:

woke up late.
chilled with balkis for like hours
she sleptover
and my neighbour gave away 3 free tickets to saturdays
harry potter and the half blood prince.
for those who didnt know.
im a nerd when it comes to harry potter.
called up random people to come with us,
big drama there.

saturday:
woke up early ish
lazed in my room
parents went out grocerry shopping
breakfast in 2 minutes
because i had guitar at one and it was 12 something.
uhmm guitar for an hour
balkis was left at home drama drama with christina and mitch
to harry potter.
uhmm more drama when i got home
uhmm...
lets see... chilled and got ready
lunch
watched americas next top model
gossip with balkis mom and sister.
went out to cineleisure.
walked about... saw... PLASTIC GIRL
RAN AWAY.
met up with christina :)
miss her loads
walked and looked for hand gloves :)
pictchaasss
uhmmm nearly fell off a building and died.
uhmm got ready fo harry potter like 20 minutes before it started
took loads of pictures and people thought me crazeh
no surprise right?

uhmm
movie movie
saw my neighbours they sat next to us
screamed
laughed
cried
and pictures
end of movie
BEST MOVIE but yeah tehy miss my high anticipated war scene
and then... talked peed.
macdonalds
i had milo ice :)
uhmmm chatt and danced
ahahahaha uhmmm walked and left christina :(
uhmmm sat and waited
mom and dad came,
talked about harry potter the rest of the night
balkis sleptover another day
talk talk talk about harry potter.
:) watched ron and hermione tributes :)
HAHAAH NERDS

uhmm sunday rolled along.
woke up uber late like 2 3 in the afternoon
uhmmm.... lets see....
lunchish.
movie and uhmm
chilled
lame photoshoot.
and yeah..

it was the shortest recap ever for friday saturday and sunday.
but i got other things on my mind and maybe ill blog later :)

good night lovelies.
:)
LUSH

congratulations to the HOPEFULLY, no.. I FORCE IT.
happy couple :P

hahah i know something no one knows i know.
:)

happy birthday rebecca

2009-07-16T20:25:00.002+08:00

happy birthday rebecca tan,
hope you have a great time tonight.

I can't believe its been a year since that night.

and all the best with the bestest person you have over your shoulder.

---
moving forward.
today was the last day of school and it was shit.

the end.

lame.

You all believe

2009-07-14T22:49:00.001+08:00

Pull a little higher, make the fall much more servere.

We made a playlist, if breaks.
will you take away my music too?

x

yes i changed it again

2009-07-14T18:02:00.004+08:00

I told you I'm a fan of changing my mind
so easily.

Current mood : paranoid.

The poem( if you can call it poem) below is written by me.
I wrote that at the end of the malay exam today.
Exams?

Can't wait to go into hibernation,
people scare me.

like I said paranoia.

JUST from ONE
little ~~girl~~ DEVIL.

rage and anger is fueling me these days,
too much negativity.

Sip my blood till there's no blood left to spill
From my neck embraced by a concealed grip
I welcome in my arms
Bruised by your love
Burnt by your kiss
Is this true love?

Goodbyes and good luck.

love and tears,
lush.

looking through questioning lies.

2009-07-14T17:32:00.003+08:00

what makes the rain my sweet escape?
what makes the stars the reason I'm awake?
why can't lives be ended quickly and forgotten?
why can't souls inside liars be forgiven?

for I have sinned a million times
with every lie a baby cries
I cannot say I feel the pain
for it's my rage that is the reign

a black twisted emotion I hide
slowly creeps up until I can't side
with the choice I once made before
I promise mother, I won't do so anymore

alone and surreptive my secrets concealed
no one askes why I am stucked and grilled
up in a tower no one can touch
away from the lovers that knew too much

down to an abandoned desolate creek
I pour my worries and troubles so deep
the water plays like blood on filthy hands
slipping, dripping away like the desert sand

why does the moon change it's face?
why does the ocean sway with grace?
question from the deep within
through my eyes a new journey begins.

x
luxmee.

This is becoming a catastrophe

2009-07-12T22:28:00.005+08:00

Wake you're a drama queen
carry on what you're supposed to be
get away hurry up come on
get away

How long have you been in your bedroom?
It's been three days straight with the sheets and your pillow
The clock on the wall's a reminder of my father
and all his integrity

I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does and who am I kidding)
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me

Wake up, you're a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away hurry up come on
Get away gotta get up and go on
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away hurry up come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

I've made up my mind took time to think of
everything I oughta do
It may be hard but I'm trying hard to comprehend
where I quit and where I should begin
You're a fake

A product of the world
An average mistake
So commonly made

yeah i know i'm just a bit random. well this song just popped into my head and i headed

to my computer just for a quick listen :) and i loved it so much its in my thoughts.

good night lovelies. :) oh and good luck to people who are sitting for exams tomorrow

yeah its english and art for year 9's. sigh. art. english well... i shall think positive

and do my very very very best and well, i'll try to stay awake at the very least.

haha, night night :)

LUSH.

old,old song i just fell in love with

2009-07-12T13:25:00.003+08:00

Simple, but still the sweetest thing I've heard in so long.

:)

Sick and tired of this world
There's no more air, Tripping over myself
going nowhere waiting, suffocating,
no direction, I took a dive and

On the way down, I saw you
and you saved me from myself,
and i wont forget the way you loved me
on the way down I almost fell right through
but I held on to you.

I've been wondering why, It's only me
have you always been inside,
waiting to breathe
its alright sunlight on my face
I wake up and yet I'm alive.

I was so afraid of going under,
but now the weight of the world feels like
nothing, no nothing.
down down down
you're all I wanted
down down down
you're all I needed now
down down down
you're all I wanted,
you're all I needed.

All I wanted, all i needed and now,
On the way down I saw you and you saved me from myself.
and I wont forget the way you loved me.
On the way down I almost fell right through but I held on to you.

Awh, the music video is lovely, like a glass of freshly blended banana ice smoothie
on a humid and warm summer's day like our weather is sunny malaysia.
sigh, i think i'm melting :)

anyways, no i wont be studying i can be sure of myself,
i'm strumming away and nobody cares.
i'm letting my wild fantasies take hostage of me and truth be told
i don't really mind. right now i've been contemplating the things i've done
and holy crap ~~was~~ am i a messed up person or what?
seriously, i'm not pointing fingers but to myself,
really what does fame get you sometimes, it gets right up to your head
and then you come crashing down once it feels that it doesn't like you
anymore. no not talking about fame dearies. a substitute. close yet
distant and different. what happens when 3 egos clash, what happens
when schemes and plots clash? what happens when plans and reveries clash?
not too i'm living in it, but don't expect me to explain. i don't know either.
after this week, its a total getaway for me. just 2 other girls and a few other
trustworthy and loyal friends for me to keep my sanity during the time off.
i don't really know what to expect in the holidays, what will happen.
i'll probably go in hiding, only come out of my sanctuary through my blog.
yeah, pathetic. i dont know, i change my mind alot and... next thing i
will be going on and having a too much of a good time, whatever.
the end of weekend blog.

or not.
oh gammbar. :)

they come and go, but they don't know

2009-07-12T00:22:00.003+08:00

they come and go, but they don't know
that you are my beautiful
i try to come closer with you
but they all say we wont make it through

but i would be there forvever
you will see that it;s better
all our hopes and our dreams will come true
i will not disappoint you i will be right there for you
till the end, the end of time,
please be mine.

So, i was thinking to myself, I miss him so much.
What I would be doing at this time of night, would be with him.
whatever it was, just for him.
now we're going away, drifting apart.
just like me and everyone else.
what makes you so significant.
special.
deep.
to me.
you could say i fell so easily,nevertheless it was a hard fall.

i see you with her and it was nothing like i thought it'd be.

We got one week left of school and you probably wont be there half the time.
I can't stand knowing that I broke everything we had apart,
was it me?

you cant say we were nothing.
at the same time, we weren't something.
we were happily and dazily caught in the damn middle.

can i ask you something?

yeah cool, what's up?

do you consider us close friends?

yeah of course! why not?

oh uhm nothing... :) good to know.

do you consider us close friends?

not at all...

oh... well that's a shocker.

extremely close haha

YOU ARE CRUEL

did i dishearten you? ;)
---

can i still have you back?
x
it sucks to be at the top of the world sometimes.

i hate that shirt. that's why i didn't buy it.
love and glitter,
lux<3

What did i want to say again?

2009-07-11T22:31:00.005+08:00

Oh right yeah besides looking for blogskins

I was pondering around at polaroid cameras.

I WANT A POLAROID CAMERA, I've been begging mom and dad since like.... hahahaahhahahahaahha oolllddd ness.

Mom was like its useless and im liek NOOOOO, DAMN COOL YO.

mom : ... 16th birthday present :) WOO HOO, i bet myself,

i'm going to see lots of obssession with polaroids soon enough.

imitation is a form of flattery.

hahah not for me. back off. its mine. :)

boleh, boleh untuk hadiah.

well AIYOH. I shall save up again.

okay now i got to study.

Well, I had a chat with a distant 2 people.

and

person 1 : I miss you loads it was kinda nice talking like that again.

person 2 : hello from popping up of no where :) talk talk talk talk :)

love lust and lush,

meeee

Finally got a skin

2009-07-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

I SPENT MY WHOLE DAY ON A SKIN.

this is not going to last I'm sure.

took up me studying time.

:(

okays.
bye bye.
ill blog another post.

I change my mind alot, i know

2009-07-11T17:35:00.001+08:00

I want to change the layout of my blog.

again.
yes.
:(

I love panic but I'm getting impatient.

Your New Twin Sized Bed

2009-07-11T17:10:00.001+08:00

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
With a single pillow underneath your single head.
I guess you decided that that old queen holds more space than you would need.
Now it's in the alley behind your apartment with a sign that says it's free.

And I hope you have more luck with this than me.

You used to think that someone would come along.
And lay beside you in a space that they belong.
But the other side of the mattress and box springs stayed like new.
What's the point of holding onto what never gets used?

Other than to sit and desire for something new.

And I try not to worry, but you've got me terrified.
It's like your some kind of hurry to say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye.

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.

Oh Glory

2009-07-11T16:09:00.002+08:00

This is the first time I've been happy since july 7.
:)

Oh glory, PANIC!'s new demo AHHH its like
A fever you can't sweat out.

I have two bands to go crazy about now.
Panic! At The Disco and well, the other name is still in the works
but its with Ryan and Jon. :)

Looking on the brightside :)
Both bands are recording albums and I AM SO EXCITED,
hahahaha fan girl attack.
:O
it used to be PANIC! ATTACK, well until I get the name
I will have another term for it, :)

I'm lucky, I have a fever you can't sweat out and pretty.odd.
I have two bands going in those directions and releasing songs
at probably the same period.
:O two bands two albums double songs.
a girl can dream :)

I will always remain faithful hahaha.

ANYWAYS, so today I woke up early, went to the dentist.
Tightened braces, am anticipating the gap that will appear soon enough
IN THE MIDDLE OF MY TEETH.
URGH, sucks.

Uhm talk talk talk with suki,
uhmmmm oh bought nuts.
:) i need apple juice.
uhmm i craveee..... watermelon.
its in the frigde.
FATTY GO FETCH THE WATERMELON.

anyways I probably do need to go study now.
exams.

MONDAY : english and art
TUESDAY: Science and Malay
WEDNESDAY: ICT and Music
THURSDAY: which is also BECCCCCCA day. Math and Geography.
FRIDAY: PARTY :)

end of schoool, bye bye fuckers.
:)

bleh i feel so negative these days.
anyways.
I got my holidays planned.
:)

goodnight.
x
LUSH.

A Blend of Blue and Red

2009-07-10T19:50:00.002+08:00

i watch the rain fall on my roof
and the clouds melt into the sky
the sun has never shone so bright
the birds sing in reply

to the dripping of the falling rain
and the silent echo of my pain
where the grass wasn't ever green
the chocking feeling that makes me scream

Where do I go?
I am alone.
Don't want to stay,
in this is place, anymore.
I want to laugh,
and kill my sorrow.
I am torn,
and callow.

as the night lights wash the city
delicate yet indestructable
the distant cars pass me by
wondering who am i

they never understood me
just sailed along the river
down to the valley
of the broken and the crippled

Where do I go?
I am alone.
Don't want to stay,
in this place, anymore.
The wait is over,
too undone.
I get lost,
with the wind.

xxxx
yes, all these are original and mine.
YOU RIP ME OFF, I RIP YOU UP.
:)
good day and tell me what you think,
those of you with balls who are reading this.
Okay, I'm not that vicious, I'm actually very polite :)
I don't bite. Trust me :)

x

luxmee.

everybody wants to rule the world.

2009-07-10T19:31:00.000+08:00